So it’s the 24th January. It’s exactly 1 year today where my life completely started to change.
I’ve been surprisingly overwhelmed in the lead up to this date. It’s the anniversary of a day that started off so normal, ended so awfully, and was the initial catalyst for the most amazing, challenging and rollercoaster year of my life. It's not my 'fit' or 'weight loss' anniversary, that's another 5 months away. It's instead an anniversary for everything else. I felt this intense desire to mark today in some way. So I pierced my ears. As you do! It’s weird I know, feeling the need to stab holes in my body to remind me of the year that has been! #freak! But I guess…
I got my ears pierced on my 13th birthday, when I became a teenager.
I got my 2nd holes done for my 21st birthday, when I became an adult.
And today I got 3rd holes done – I guess to mark the year I became….well, me.
Yeah, ok, it’s still weird isn't it. But I’m just riding with it, like I have done with my whole year.
Where I am tonight and where I was a year ago are polar opposites and I’ve been thinking so much about the changes that have happened for me – in mind, body, spirit, and basically everything in my life. Tonight I listened to some Coldplay with my colleague while we worked, then I jogged to my car in the rain. Nice and normal, nothing dramatic. This time last year I was shell shocked in the back of an ambulance, unsure if I could maybe die. I didn’t realise at the time just how much that experience would change me. What’s been important – and necessary – has been the journey – there were a million little steps in between getting from that ambulance to jogging in the rain tonight. I must be really stubborn if it took truck after truck reversing over me interspersed with 16 more hospital visits to make me wake up and listen.
Everything has changed for me. At some points those changes were so difficult to cope with that I didn’t think I could. But I did.
I am a completely different person. I haven’t changed though – I’ve just become the person who I was all along.
|My pierced ears!|
I may have looked like an 8 year old girl running to my car in the rain tonight, but it was actually a very strong 31 year old, who knows who she is. Farewell, insane year. It's all over now. And hello to who I really am. "Go out and grab the rest of your life."