:)
Of course, my story has been continuing, I just haven't gotten as far as sharing it as regularly as I would usually like. I obviously have so much to update you on, and that's one reason I tend to procrastinate blogging...when there's too many stories to tell, I get overwhelmed, not to mentioned afraid that my individual blog posts will take people 12 nights to read, instead of the estimated current 5. ;)
I eventually had a (belated, blonde) brainwave, that I don't need to tell you every latest story from my world in one hit (in one single blog post). Apparently, it is possible to write shorter posts... (who knew?)
So, on my iPhone notes I currently have a list of posts that I intend to write up, one update topic at a time, starting now.
This post doesn't explain where I've been and what I've been up to over the last couple of months, but you'll be up to date if you read each upcoming story. Think of it like a catch up series before we get back to more real time posting as per my usual.
Tonight's story basically skips most of what's been going on and is purely my journey leading up to the Brisbane Marathon Festival (I did the 5km, not the mara!) that I did on Sunday. It's fresh in my mind as it was just yesterday! My next blog post will be about the actual event. I have to give you the lead up, first. ;)
It's probably obvious to my regular readers, that I haven't been doing much running lately. And when I say 'lately', I mean in like 18 months... I've spoken about my little running hiatus before, but I just wanted to confirm that the hiatus has continued - there was no miraculous restart up of running in my little blogging break. In fact, it's gotten worse.
Never a dull moment |
Boot camp had been my only form of exercise for a while, so when I started going less and less, my fitness dropped more and more. My parkrun attendance has also been pretty shaky. I did 3 in January, 2 in May, and then 1 this weekend.
I've been keeping up with my Physio, but he's had to work on my back more than my knees, so I'm still no closer to fixing the knee issues, either.
And it's no surprise that as my fitness has gone downhill, my weight has gone up, at a fairly equal pace.
Throw into the mix the social anxiety I've been feeling (see this recent post for a little explanation; I'll speak more about it soon), and you can start to get the picture of how I was leading up to the event.
How I came about even entering is still a bit blurry, too. Maybe I was drunk.
I wasn't, but really, I don't exactly sound like a person who would mindfully be entering fun runs, do I?
My intentions were good...and it always helps the confidence when the Early Bird entry fee prices end a month or two in advance...
My track record with my love of events hasn't been on it's game this year. After freaking out about and bailing on Resolution Run in January; I managed to turn up to (and complete) the Gold Coast Bulletin Fun Run in April.
I mentioned how I'd entered Mothers Day Classic (in the "I Can't Be There, But..." category), and City2South, as part of the Singapore Airlines team. Well, I didn't manage to get to either of those...
With the Mothers Day Classic, I have no excuse. (Well, all my excuses are listed above).
They've sent me my medal in the mail (this is the category where you can do it yourself, any time, anywhere). I haven't even let myself open the envelope yet, because I still intend to complete it, and won't let myself have the medal until I do so.
Me on Saturday (AFTER parkrun) |
I've got my City2South running bib and Singapore Airlines merchandise sitting next to my Mothers Day Classic sealed envelope, as like with that one, I also intend on doing my own little walk one day soon, to make up for not being able to partake in the actual event.
So by June, I'd turned up to 1 out of 4 official events that I'd entered. My stats weren't looking favourable...
After those two latest failed race entries, I sat down on a fairly positive feeling Friday night and drew up a new, very rough plan on how to work myself back up to where I was with running. (I think) the plan was something like this (with boot camp running in between):
- A couple of parkrun's: walking
- A couple of parkrun's: walk/run/walk/run intervals
- Brisbane Marathon Festival: 5km event: walk 4km + run 1km (straight)
- Lakes College Fun Run: 2km event: run 2km (straight)
The list went on, but that was pretty much the start of it.
parkrun crowd gathering... :o |
So, we entered.
I had no problem entering. You know, because of the direct mathematical correlation between confidence and how much time before entering an event there is before you actually need to participate. No fear!
But then all the above stuff happened; I didn't go to parkrun, I didn't go to boot camp, I ate shit, I got a bit bigger, my social anxiety increased, I had the fall, I had some other upsetting stuff take my focus, blah blah blah, and before you know it, it was two weeks before Bris Mara.
Lucky my plan was rough, because I sure as hell didn't stick to it!
The best things ever: turn around points |
When I agreed to this, it was still a good week and a half away, so my concern level wasn't too high.
I'm so good at ignoring things until the date looms near...
As the weekend grew closer, I started getting anxious. I wasn't worried about the running aspect, that dream disappeared with the training I didn't do. But the anxiety of showing up to start lines in my "black uniform" was getting more and more apparent. Also, two days in a row? (Saturday = parkrun, Sunday = Bris Mara.)
As I got dressed on Saturday morning, I texted Court "I'll love you at breakfast" which was code for "I hate you right now".
Court and I after parkrun on Saturday |
To be really honest, as much as I just said that I don't let people down; I was so not wanting to do it, that if Courtney and I didn't have 4 things scheduled straight after parkrun together, I very well may have tried to bail on her. (Sorry, Court!) I did it for our schedule. ;)
I turned up as ninja as I could be, with a hoodie over my head and dark sunnies, (over the top of my black uniform, of course).
And, we did it. If the photos on the course of me weren't so horrendous, I would share them here, but I didn't realise just how "fitted" my hoodie / jumper was. :(
I mentioned to Court as we started that I was actually unsure I could even walk 5km! As it'd been 10 weeks since I'd even done that! I could, I was fine, we were fine, but I was so glad when it was over.
Seriously, this meal... |
And I was also excited about one of our events being our planned breakfast afterwards. Truly, I could have easily have had a "When Harry Met Sally" moment in The Coffee Club, if I was any louder in the way that I was drooling and making noises over my bacon and eggs! Our breakfast was a.m.a.z.i.n.g.
There is no way I would have turned up to parkrun on Saturday if it weren't for Court. As much as it's me who wants to achieve these goals, at the moment getting myself out of bed is on the
An actual sloth |
We got on with the rest of our day, and I tried to forget that I had to do it all over again, the following morning.
However this start line was going to have a lot more people, and it also had a much later start time, a start time where temperature wise, a ninja hoodie would just not work.
I hopped into bed, (genuinely) wishing I could turn up the next day with a bag over my head.
But I remembered that I'm claustrophobic, so I turned over and tried to get some sleep anyway.
I'd deal with it in the morning.
...
Next post: My 2016 Brisbane Marathon Festival report...
Woohoo an update
ReplyDeleteYou will never know how proud I am for you going for the run
You did it
You got this
Now don't leave it sinking in between posts your killing me.
Xx
Haha aw thank you! I was thinking of you while writing this post, thinking you'd be proud that I was writing. Nope I absolutely promise I'll keep the posts up now. To be honest this was going to be the actual run report but it was so long just explaining the lead up that I realised I had to make it two posts. Shocker Kate ;) So the next part is fresh in my mind.
DeleteThank you for being so proud of me, it means the absolute world. Lots of love xo
I am very proud of you and you inspire me ... Selfishly that's one reason I won't you to continue to write 😳 But mainly cause I love following you and know you are going to get to every one of your goals 😘😘
DeleteSorry to hear you've been going through some crap times Kate! Keep writing, get it out and use writing to heal, grow, learn and move onwards and upwards. We ourselves put our biggest expectations on ourselves so make sure you recognize all the stuff you are achieving both big and small xx
ReplyDelete