Monday, 2 July 2012


I've been struggling with something over the last day or two.  It's so minor it's hardly worth mentioning, but it's really bothering me so I wanted to write about it.

One of my male friends who I adore called another friend of mine "cute".  He didn't just say that she was cute, he said that she was and that I wasn't.

I know it sounds harsh but it wasn't in a mean context.  We were talking about something specific that we do.  And in doing that thing, he said that we were different - and that she was cute, and that I was funny but not cute.  I have to reiterate that he wasn't saying that to be mean, but I of course took it to heart and have dwelled on it ever since.  Of course ;)

I think it's because I realised that that is one thing that I have never been but I want to be.  Ok, maybe I have to admit that I'm past it - I'm 31! :)  I don't mean baby ga-ga cute, just cute.  I take that word as in pretty, gorgeous etc.  I realised that I don't think I've ever been called cute.  He also called her little.  That word got to me.  How can anyone so big and lanky be called little and cute?

It's not a biggie in the grand scheme of things but it's played on my mind.  It made me feel deflated and sad, and then today I just felt a resolve of "I am going to train like a nut until I can be called little.  And cute."

It's just a 4 letter word but it means so much, especially when you're not called it.  Hopefully one day someone will call me cute. :)

1 comment:

  1. When I first me you at Karen's engagement party I noticed straight away that you were gorgeous. Way beyond cute, in fact you were almost intimidating good looking :) Lucky for me you were also super nice so I relaxed and liked you straight away.

    I have always thought of you as pretty, at all weights. You really are. You aren't even close to past it, you are blossoming into a stunning swan and I am so happy for you!