This isn't really a weight related post but I feel the strong need to write tonight. It's ultimately about myself and therefore I guess is connected to my whole journey.
Tomorrow is my last day at my beloved job. I've worked there 3 times over the last 7 years. This particular time I've been there for 4 years. (I'm a contractor, coming and going is the name of the game). :)
I've known I'm leaving for 13 weeks so I've had time to get used to it, and I've surprised myself how well I've dealt with it. I adore my job and everything about it. I really feel like I've grown up there. But over the past 13 weeks I've had a lot going on, and have mainly been focussed on finding a new job. I've got one that I start next week, and now that it's my last day eve, it's finally starting to hit me that I'm leaving. I've been so focussed on finding something new so haven't really had time to be upset about leaving.
In the past when I've left jobs that I loved, I've been devastated and haven't coped well at all. I'm older now, I'm more wise about change and have had more important things happen to me that have relaxed my feelings about everything else. I guess I've got a much more mature outlook and smarter perspective about things like this, and one of my new mantras is just to roll with the punches....and to enjoy the good times.
I've been very good and have been rolling with the punches over the last few months and coping surprisingly well about this. But I've enjoyed the good times at work so much (and am still human!) that today/tonight I'm finally getting so down and sad about it.
I've never been good with change until the last couple of years. But now that the time is here, I'm admitting that I am really sad about this. Yeah, yeah, I'm spreading my wings blah blah blah ;) but I'm trying to remind myself of the Marilyn quote below, and also I guess, just to let myself feel the sadness of the change. Do you know one thing though? This is probably the hugest emotion that I've felt recently and have not eaten these feelings. I'm just feeling sad, and letting myself feel it. I'm sure one day very soon I'll move past this of course. But for now I just want to enjoy my last day, remind myself that everything will be ok and count myself so lucky that I've had a job that I love and have been so happy at.
Think of me tomorrow... :( xo
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”