Monday, 9 July 2012

Controlling an elephant

Hi guys :)  I promised I'd write tonight so here I am :)

Thank you to Dane and Jules for your comments today.  I was feeling a bit down and out this morning (I am surprised I made it out of bed) and Dane commented on a forum post and her words really lifted me up.  And tonight I was sitting at my laptop, quite despondent and not sure what to write, and Jules made me smile with her words too :)  Thanks girls, and thanks everyone for your messages.  One thing that is on my 'list' is to go through these comments properly and respond to them because each one means so much.  It makes it so special that people do read this...I'm not just talking to myself here :) I am feeling really overwhelmed.  I know I need to make a re-commitment tonight.  Why tonight?  Because I promised you (and therefore myself) and because why not tonight?  The quicker I get back on track, the better.  I shouldn't have been off for this long already.

But I made time as promised and sat here for ages, thinking.  I was just feeling really overwhelmed.  I have let everything spiral so far out of control that I don't know where to start.  And it got me thinking of that saying:

"How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time."

It's so true.  How am I going to do EVERYTHING if I look at EVERYTHING and freak out and therefore do NOTHING?  If I do SOMETHING then I am on my way to getting through EVERYTHING.  Right? plan is:

Monday (tonight):
  • Recommit to my commitment and regain CONTROL of my life
Tuesday (tomorrow):
  • Re-read my commitment:
    Re-read my list of 100 reasons why I want to lose weight:
  • Number crunch - reassess my number goals compared to where I am
  • Fix up my training schedule - get it up to date and plan out the next 2 weeks of training
  • Plan my next week's meals and order groceries
  • Update my diary - this will make me feel so much better.  I am usually obsessed with my Calendar but lately haven't been updating it at all.  So I will update all appointments, and then red flag days, shopping days, 12WBT related things eg. Mish's next live chat, and of course training as mentioned above.
  • Update my To Do list.  This is usually my big thing every day.  Every day I usually check it obsessively - it has all of the little things that I need to do listed, and mini goals to work up to my big goals.  I use an awesome app on my phone by Appigo called ToDo.  I haven't used it in about 11 weeks - no wonder I feel off centre!
  • Reply to all of my SMS's that I haven't answered lately.  My poor friends are very understanding...! :)
  • Email my real estate about 2 items that are broken - this is random and one TINY little thing out of a million things but it's something that I have been meaning to do for weeks and weeks.  It's just one thing that I keep putting off and it's been getting me down.
  • Book in car service (another thing that I have been putting off).
  • Move any of these tasks that I don't get done today to Wednesday as I don't have much time tomorrow- but I will try to get this all done tomorrow.
  • Weigh in and not get upset that I have put on weight (because I know I will)
  • Watch all of Mish's latest videos.  I haven't watched the last few properly.  The reason being, I love these videos so much and I don't feel I've deserved to watch them over the last week.  I get so inspired watching them, and don't want to 'waste' them when I'm not being serious (if this makes sense).
  • Clean my house thoroughly and vigorously (as a workout!)
  • Sit down with my finances and sort them out: Part 1
  • Redo my pre-season tasks
  • Sit down with my finances and sort them out: Part 2 (this is really out of control - this will take some time) :)
  • Read my Coco Butter comments and reply
  • Spend time in the 12WBT forums.  I get inspired in there.  And in the 12WBT Facebook groups that I'm a part of. 
  • Write a blog post about my home gym that I made!  Because I've been meaning to.
  • Work on getting my personal emails up to date
  • Get my laptop up to date - files and photos are everywhere (yes, I'm a bit OCD when it comes to organisation) :)
  • Update my filing at home (paperwork)
  • Finish getting my personal emails up to date
  • Go on tour (just for the weekend) for my play and have FUN!
  • Have a bath (something I've been meaning to do for well over 3 years - yes I know!  I haven't really had a bathtub at home in that long - I shower), be kind to myself and go to bed early.  (I have a big weekend coming up and will be exhausted on Sunday night).

So there we go :)  There are many more things that I should have listed, but I think that's a good start.  I have another busy week but I will work hard to get these things done, and yes, I will report back here. :)

I'm feeling overwhelmed, but I will feel worse if I continue being run over by my own wagon.  I'm scared because I am so far behind, but I have to get back up there now.  In a years time, this week or two of being off track won't matter.  But if I don't get back onboard now, in a years time it will still matter because I'll be on the same merry-go-round.  I need to get my head back in the right space and I think I need to watch Mish's videos and podcasts - not just the ones I've been saving up, but her old mindset ones too.

My control post is still yet to come, but for now I am just adding the control back into my life.  I need to control my life - no-one else will!  Good news from yesterday/today though: my play opened so that is one thing that is on track now, and I accepted a new job out of some offers I had.  I start in 2 weeks after I finish my current one.  So that major stress will be off my shoulders.  Come to think of it, I started getting off track with everything other than my health as soon as I found out about it (my job finishing).  I think that has been a bigger cause of stress than I realised.

Anyway I am blabbing now - the short of it is, I have a new job and am sorted in that respect.  Now to sort myself. :)

I'm going to post this now as I promised it would be Monday night and it's 11:54pm and I'm a woman of my word! ;)

Thanks for listening guys.  I'll keep my plan updated and I will keep you updated.

Love Coco :) xo

No comments:

Post a Comment