You probably don't because it was many months and a few rounds ago lol. But guess what, after months of procrastination, I DID IT! Yesterday!
As the day got closer I realised what it actually meant. It's all very well and good (AKA
easy) to make the goal, wait until there's a cheap ticket special, book in a day to go and turn up. But then, I had to actually GO ON A RIDE!
Seriously?
This was part of the deal?
Ok, it was the whole deal....
I went along with 4 extremely supportive 12 weekers which really helped. They understood it all without me having to explain more than what I posted on IG and 30+ the day before.
My goal for the day was to just go on ONE RIDE that was a challenge for me. Whether it be water or a rollercoaster, I just had to go on one. There's a fine line between being nervous because of my previous weight related incidents and simply being an adult who's heart isn't as strong as when I was a fearless kid! Me going along yesterday was not to go on all of the scary rides - my body is past that. But I was determined to go on just one ride to make up for the embarrassment of last time. Then I could relax and go back to being a normal adult who determines going on rides due to how my body will hold out from a nervous system point of view rather than from a weight point of view.
As I walked inside the gates, as much as I was apprehensive, I couldn't help but smile. There's something completely magical about theme parks. :)
The girls suggested the rapids ride would be a good starter for me. It's a ride I've always
The rapids |
Of all the things that could have been said to me! I took it that she would have said that to anyone, and it was simply good sense, as there were 4 of us on the ride, and 3 of us were more on one side. Because I was the last person to sit down, it made sense for me to move so there was 2 people on each side. It's so hard these days to take things normally and the right way, whereas in the not so distant past, any comment like that would have been directly about my personal weight.
I survived the tame ride ... :) and then the girls wanted to go on the log ride.
Lining up for the rapids |
There was no way I could go on the log ride! I hate that free falling feeling (from an adult nervous system point of view) and the log ride is a water ride (from a weight point of view).... And when we arrived, I suddenly remembered that it was a log ride that I took off it's tracks that one time. No wonder it scared me!
But as much as I was pretending to myself that the rapids ride was my one brave ride of the day, I knew that it wasn't. That was not pushing myself.
However, this log ride would.
This was The Ride.
It helped that when we got there, the big bit where it
runs down was a lot shorter and less vertical than I had in my mind. Dreamworld has nothing on Disneyland's Splash Mountain - that's what I was picturing. Maybe I could actually do this log ride...
I wanted to, so much. I decided to do it. Even still, it took about half an hour in the line for the girls to dispel all of the myths I was dreaming up.
- Yes, 4 adults can fit into one log.
- No, we will not sink it.
- No, we really won't.
- Yes, you can be in the middle, we can sandwich you in.
- No, you won't die.
Before I knew it, I was in a log, sandwiched in. I truly was scared. But as we started to
4 adults and no sinking! |
Somehow, my adult heart held up.
I closed my eyes and screamed like nothing else as we splashed down. I felt like I was going to fly out.
But, I didn't.
AND I DID IT.
I did it I did it I did it!
Here's some videos I made in real time lol:
I was so proud of myself :)
That was all I had to do!
Will cherish this photo :) |
However, later on we walked past a kids rollercoaster (the Madagascar ride) - AND I WENT ON THAT!
It may have been a kids one but it was huge enough! I was so scared about that one too. That was a bonus, I didn't think I would go on the log ride or a rollercoaster, I assumed I'd find some mediocre challenging ride and count that as my 'thing'. But I did both! My goal in fact was titled "Fly Like A Bird And Glide Like A Swan", so I truly did both. And the flying like a bird was scary but oh, so awesome :)
The rollercoaster |
On the scales! The reason I was there! |
I wish...that I will not flood, sink or break a ride.... |
I am so incredibly proud of you. Facing a fear, regardless of what it is or how it came to be a fear, is an incredible feat. I'm so glad you had the girls there with you to support you and talk you out of your crazy ideas...lol. Each time you do one of these adventures you dream up, you shed a little more of the person you used to be and uncover the woman you've always been behind the fear and the worry!! You should be proud of yourself and your achievements. I am!!
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