Sunday, 24 May 2015

Exercise selfies are not always smiley in cutesy singlets

'Weight loss journeys' are sometimes really hard.  Those terms are obviously synonymous: they're not usually a walk in the park.  But what can sometimes be even harder, is sticking with it when other, outside things are tough.  Especially if you're anything like me, and have used food as a coping technique for 18 years.  What do you do when those inevitable tough times hit, and you no longer want to use food as your way to cope?

That's been my struggle these past few days!  I'm going ok with the food, exercise etc.: that's actually on track.  But I was thrown a curve ball on Thursday when I came to the realisation that I don't have a 'healthy coping vice' to placate life's (non weight related) downs.  

I'm making it sound like this is the first time I've had a bad day while trying to lose weight.  Obviously not the case.  So I don't know why this week was so damn hard to deal with!

It was a really tough week.  And for some reason I felt the need to have a 'thing' to 'fix' it.  Maybe it's because I've been so off track for the past year that my commitment just wasn't there - so it was a lot easier to succumb when the going got tough.  But now I've finally picked myself up and am really, really focused and don't want to fall down?

Very fresh dinner tonight (and I used my fresh sweet basil!)
I don't know.  All I know is that to put it simply, I had a shit week and I wanted KFC to make it feel better.

And bacon chips.  And cookie dough ice cream, and the rest.

But I didn't let myself.  As painful as it is, I've been pushing through.  Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been perfect.  Thursday nights dinner was not nutritious in the slightest.  But I stuck to my calorie limit.  I very rarely eat something bad and say it's ok because I was within my calories....but on this occasion I let myself.  Other than that, and changing one meal on my plan tonight (to something equally as healthy!), I've been sticking extremely hard and fast to my food plan.

This morning I meant to go to parkrun...but I bailed on myself at 5:30am :(  I was really disappointed in myself for doing that.  Up till this morning, I've been so proud that I have
Haven't bailed on boot camp. (Although I had 2 comments I need to stop hiding at the back in pics)
been fronting up to boot camp and my own planned training sessions without fail.  So I felt like I'd failed myself to skip out on this morning and choose to sleep in instead.  I'm telling myself to get over it.  I really did need the sleep, and I made the exercise up later in the day, so I still hit my daily exercise goal!

In saying that, again, weekend training was like pulling teeth, because I have to 100% motivate myself.  During the week I have routine with exercising around work, and group training ie. people expecting me to be there.  But come Saturday and Sunday, I have to make more of an effort to a) fit it in, and b) get it done.  Tomorrow I have some interesting, planned stuff, so I should be ok.  And I've arranged to meet a friend at parkrun next Saturday, to make sure I don't repeat today and turn the alarm clock off instead.  I'm going to have to really work on the weekend exercise thing.

So even though it's been so hard to stick to, I am still on track.  I still haven't skipped out on a day of my calorie goals 'in' (food) and 'out' (exercise).  My polka dot dress photos this weekend (pic below and on my polka dot dress page) have pepped me up and made me realise that this is working, and that I need to just keep going and battling through, regardless of how things are.  

My exercise selfies from this week are very non smiling and quite depressing to look at.  I
Real life exercise selfie ;)
kept snapping away but I just couldn't smile.  I wasn't going to include any in this post, but you know I'm always blatantly real about how things are going.  Exercise selfies are not always smiley, bright, glistening eyed grins in cutesy exercise singlets showing off Polars/Garmins.  Sometimes they're sullen, sad and forlorn.  Because that's real life and you push through with your weight loss journey regardless of life's tough times.  No matter how hard it is xx

4 weeks progress - made me so happy!