:(

Most mini milestones I achieve don't have such a sad title when I post about them!

I did one of my weekly mini milestones (W.M.M) today - so that is a good thing - it's ticked off!  But at the same time it was a little upsetting and I think I'll feel better if I lament briefly on here.  Please bear with me as a lot of this post will just simply be me whingeing and sad, to get it off my chest.

One of my W.M.M's for the round was to try a different parkrun:

I think it was one of my W.M.M's from a few rounds ago, just carried over.  I'm very good at procrastinating.  This round I'm trying so hard to do "all the things" and just try to get right into everything, to get me solidly back on course.  So I'm actually 'doing' my goals / challenges / milestones now!  Fancy that! :)

Last week I planned to try out Stones Corner parkrun.  But as I shared at the time, I turned over and went back to sleep and ended up being disappointed at myself for the rest of the day.  So my friend Courtney offered to meet me there this morning, to make sure I got out of bed this week.  As much as I cursed her early this morning, I am very grateful because I absolutely know that I would have gone back to sleep if she wasn't going to be there, as I was so tired.

So look, there's not much to tell: I did it.  I completed it and got a time, and I can now tick Stones Corner parkrun and my Week 4 mini milestone off my list.

But it was a bit upsetting doing it.

Just because I couldn't run. :(  Not running is not a new thing for me...!  And of all the times for me to be upset, it's the week I get the green light to run again, as per my last post.

So I don't know why it got to me so much.  I felt good when I got there.  Courts was there, I realised my friend from Year 1 was the race director, her sister was also there, and then my friend Dean from work appeared.  It was so nice to see them all and I felt at home.

We started off fine. I stuck to the back, and out to the side, staying out of the way to give every single person the widest berth to start their run / walk.  

I soon realised my heart rate monitor is still playing up.  It drives me crazy! :(  I'd gone back to my Polar as my Garmin was playing up and significantly showing the wrong heart rate.  My Polar was fine for about a week, but since it's gotten progressively worse.  It goes from say 114 (correct), to 00, to 54, to 114, and back down to 00.  It's quite old now which is probably why.  Throughout the last few weeks, I've also actually completely lost my Garmin, so I can't even go back and retry that.  I've misplaced it as well as the strap.  My house is ridiculously tidy so I don't even have any clues as to where it could be either.

"Anxiety tunnels"

Anyway...so I walked along realising I'd have to estimate my cals for today.  I then remembered that these bike/walk ways have a few short tunnels throughout.  I always get anxious walking or running through tunnels.  They're not that long, and they'd only fill with water during really bad flooding.  But I'm a bit claustrophobic and I've had a couple of childhood incidents in under road tunnels / drains.  There's a few such tunnels around Brisbane where I exercise - I always just go underneath, but each time I get so anxious.

Anyway, I got through the "anxiety tunnels" and soon after, the parkrunners started coming back, the other way.  I was really impressed with how polite they were - pretty much every person kept to their side of the narrow path - they were great.  But seeing runners come back when I'm walking is just so crushing.  I hated it.  I wanted to be on their side of the path.  I kept walking, keeping my head high (for myself, no-one else cared of course) and trying to ignore them.  

I glanced behind me and saw the high vis'd parkrun volunteer who trails the last runners, about 200m behind me.  I was completely last.  Not that it matters - don't yell at me, I know.  But it still doesn't make you feel very good to see that when you're already not feeling very good about yourself.

Deano was in the top ten or so.  I'm always so proud of him and got my camera out as I saw he was about to run past.  He put his hand out to high 5 me, and it completely made my day as the literal moment before, I was starting to get upset:

This pic's going in my grateful jar for today

I kept walking, and started to realise that my knee was niggling a bit.  Just very slightly, to the point I couldn't tell for sure if it was actually sore or not.

As more and more runners, and then walkers, came back against me (against my direction), it started hitting home more about how much not running just completely sux.  I miss it so much!  I hate not being able to do it anyway, but seeing runners in the same event as me, run, makes it really real.

Taken by my on course personal photographer

Courtney ran past me too and we took photos of each other - love her :)

As I reached the turn around sign, 2.5km in, I realised that yes, my knee was in fact niggling, and starting to get a bit sore.  So then I started getting sad, wondering if my running comeback will in fact be in 1-2 weeks time.  If it's still sore while walking....?  

I kept walking, now heading back to the start, thankful now that I wouldn't have to pass any more parkrunners.

I tried to not push my speed, to alleviate my knee as much as possible.

Just to add to my self esteem, I walked past someone I used to work with who I'm pretty sure ignored me.

And then --- an older lady tried to stop me to ask if I had noticed that the cafe I had just walked past, was open.

It was such a weird moment!  My initial thought was that I was flabbergasted that she did this and on the inside, I was (kindly) wild: "can she not see I am in the middle of an event??  You don't stop people during runs!  I'm being timed!  O.M.G!"

But the thing was, I wasn't running....................to her, I was just out for a walk, and it was completely appropriate for her to ask me this.  But in my mind, I'm a runner, and that's why I was so shocked that she tried to stop me.  It really brought home for me how slow I am...I've never been stopped for 'directions' before, mid event. :(

Can't even walk fast

As much as I was 'yelling' on the inside, I was of course kind and answered her.  But I didn't stop walking.  I feel so bad about that - if I was in fact just strolling along, I would have usually completely stopped and given her 120% of my attention and asked her how her day was.

But in the moment, I was in the middle of an event.  A moment before I had looked at my watch and wondered if I could break the 50min. mark.  So even though I didn't do it for time, I still felt like I was on the watch.

I kind of had to walk on the spot as she seemed to want to stop and talk, but I spoke as long as I could and gave her the information while smiling and continued walking.

So then I felt like a bad human being for not stopping to have a big chat.  It felt so weird - someone on the outside seeing me walking, but on the inside me having a runners mentality and not understanding why they couldn't see that.... :)

Just to top the event off, I went through the anxiety tunnels again, and started to see the

Bringing it home hard (not)

finish site up ahead.

Courts and Dean both waited for me which meant so much.  I finished with a time of 56:07, 192nd out of 192. ;)

I decided to lay off training for the rest of the day to rest my knee.  (I was just going to do a little more).  I haven't had a full or partial injury caused rest days in almost 3 weeks so that's pretty good.

Now that I write it out, it's not actually that bad.... This morning though, I was pretty upset.  It's just one of those days where it hits you harder than others that you're frustrated.  I've been so patient but I do have the occasional day like this morning.  I just hope the slight niggle / pain isn't a bad sign...I'll find out in 1-2 weeks time when I go for my first Bambi style run.

Court and I after parkrun

"Repeating Year 4"

So I have an update on the whole injury / running factor.  To be honest I've had the update for 3 days but have taken this long to articulate it in my head, to then share.

I went to see my Osteo again on Tuesday.  Finally making an effort to see her regularly has been making a world of difference.  We're working through about 5 or 6 issues, but mainly my back (ongoing) and my knee (current / temporary).

Back wise, I realised the other day how much the treatment has been helping it.  Usually when I wake up each morning, it takes me a good few minutes to move to then be able to get out of bed - but I realised I've been moving a lot quicker lately!  I often still call out in pain

#notarecentphotoofcourse

when I then get out of bed, but even the wincing and calling out has reduced a bit. 

I shared my excitement about how good my back has been with my Osteo, Bec, and she said she had noticed it took me a lot less time to shift on her table from my stomach over to my back which was great, (and true).

Exercise wise, I haven't been doing burpees or much stuff on the ground recently, because it takes me about 42min. to move from the ground back to a standing position.  Obviously that's a slight exaggeration, but it still takes too long and it kind of doesn't make sense to do exercises on the ground when the recovery just to stand up from doing it takes more effort and time than the exercise itself.  It's just temporary while my back and flexibility is not so great. 

So it was great to feel my back responding to the treatment.  That being said, I spoke too soon, as today I've been in a lot of pain with it.  I had to work and eat standing up for about 3 hours today, because it hurt too much to sit.  And tonight my neck is in agony. :(

Anyway!  That is life with back issues!  Knee wise, however, well that's just a temporary injury and is the reason I haven't ran for 4 months.

#notarecentphotoofcourse

I've been extremely patient for these 4 months and have put absolutely no impact on my knee at all.  If my boot camp team go for a run, I walk.  If they run and do 'high knees', I walk with high knees.  If they do star jumps, I step it out.  If they do step ups, I squat.  It's been so upsetting to be so limited in what I can do, but I have been patient.

So Tuesday it was time for me to ask Dr Bec for an update....when does she think I can run again? 

And....

In 2 weeks time (from last Tuesday), I'm allowed to try to run.

Which is awesome!

You'd think.

I never thought I'd be sad about this.  I have permission to run again!  Shouldn't this be a great thing?

#notarecentphotoofcourse

We'd been working towards the start of July (Gold Coast Marathon: I'm registered for the 5.7km event).  But I realised that I shouldn't go out and suddenly run 5km after such a long break.  She of course agreed, and we've worked through a plan.  And it's not what I had been expecting. :(

Without thinking things through, I had this romantic ideal that I'd be able to go out and run like I used to.  That one day I'd be injured and staying off my knee, and the next day I'd be allowed to run again and I'd be back to where I was 4 months ago.  I knew I wouldn't jump immediately back into a half marathon or anything, but I truly thought that I could go out and run my 5.7km at the Gold Coast in 5 weeks time.  And then soon after maybe try a 10km'er,

My first half

and in a few months go back to my beloved halfs.

But on Tuesday I realised that it's probably not going to be like that: It didn't occur to me that I'd need to retrain my body.

I Am So Crushed.

The thing that's got me, and I guess the thing that made me really realise what I need to do, is that her advice was to try and follow the "Couch to 5km" program.

I tried the Couch to 5km program almost 3 years ago.  I completed Day 1, and then that weekend I went out and ran my first 5km.  I never looked back.  It's not that I intentionally completely skipped the program, but I just happened to sort of 'miraculously' manage to run 5km by myself, separately and coincidentally the same week I started to do the program.  

And now she wants me to go back and follow it.

The thing that's crushed me is that I realise that it's not because I don't know how to run 5km (or 30km!)  I don't need to learn how to.

However my body needs to physically be retrained to do so again.  And that sux. 

I've been pondering this for a few days now, and I'm trying to work out what it feels like - and I can't pinpoint it.  The only thing I can liken it to, is that it's sort of like being asked to repeat a grade at school, but on a technicality rather than merit.  It's like getting to the end of Year 4

#notarecentphotoofcourse

and you being across all of the school work and curriculum, but then the school requesting that you do Year 4 again for some technical reason.  And it's so frustrating because you know you can do Year 4!  You've done the whole grade already - you know all the work.  But you still have to repeat....to safely get back to where you already were.

Look I know it's not the end of the world.  I'm still able to run.  There's no time limits on this stuff.  I'll suck it up and forge ahead and do what I have to do.

But that doesn't mean I can't be completely disappointed right now.

To be honest I don't know how the running's going to go at the start.  It's possible I may need surgery.  But for now we're going to test out the 4-5 months of rehab we've just done and see how I go.  

The basic plan is, in about a week and a half, I'm going to start out with some very short, slow runs, just 200m here and there, just to test it out. 

My running journey

If that goes well, I'll continue to 'up' it by the stock standard 10% each week, up to the Gold Coast weekend.  My mind says otherwise, but my body won't be ready to go out and run the 5.7km like I thought.  I do though have her approval to run short bursts throughout it, sticking to the 10% rule.  I'll then continue working slowly forward........................to where I already was...................and eventually back to my long standing marathon dream. :(

So Gold Coast will still be, as I imagined, my 'comeback race'.  But it won't be all guns blazing running the whole thing, it will just be on and off running.

In saying all of that, if I have any pain when I test it out in a week and a half, I have to stop and continue treatment.

So yeah.  I'll keep you updated....please think pain free thoughts.

"Repeating Year 4" just to retrain my body is so disappointing.  But I guess eventually school kids get up to Year 12 and they never look back on the fact they had to backtrack way back in Year 4.

I'm sure it'll be the same for me.  That when I've retrained and gotten back to where I was, all that will matter is that I get there, not how bumpy and backwards the journey was along the way.

:(

Week 4 checkpoint

It's Week 4 which means it's time for a checkpoint of the 12 weeks.  We do our usual weekly weigh in, but also take measurements and redo the fitness test, to see how we've (hopefully) gone down and improved respectively.

I'm so happy with my results so far!  Here is a little picture I happened to have prepared earlier (for Instagram haha):

My Week 4 results

So they're my results in the 4 weeks:

• I lost 1.5kg this week bringing the total lost in this round so far to 8.3kg.
• My measurements have gone down by 19.9cm (you'd think my body could have managed just 1mm more, to get over the 20cm mark, surely!  But no - lol)
• And my fitness score went from 13 up to 20.

As I said on Insta this morning, as much as these numbers really excite me, the main reason I'm so happy with them is that I know how hard it was to get to this point.  LOL it's been 4 weeks of picking myself up on attempt #855521789321672 of getting back on track so I'm not trying to get ahead of myself, but in saying that, I guess I'm just proud because it's attempt #855521789321672.

It's been so hard and taken so many failed attempts to get to this point.  And, even though I announce a little disclaimer to everyone lately "I could stuff up at any time", there's a part of me deep inside that is madly wishing and hoping that I won't.  That this will be the time that works.  And although my whole blog may seem a bit like the girl who cried wolf, the amount of times I've gotten myself together, well it's all a part of it.  Every attempt, try and failure is part of this grand journey.

I always liken it to when I quit smoking.  It took me 3 attempts to finally kick the habit.  But when I finally managed to do it, I didn't go around thinking "I quit smoking but it took me 3 goes". <Cue glum face>

No!  I walked around (and still do) proudly "I quit smoking."  Full stop.

So I know that when I finally get to goal weight, I am sure that I'll be smiling that "I got to my goal weight."  It won't be followed by a sad "but it took me 855521789321672 goes."

The only time I'll be talking about the 855521789321671 failed attempts is when I'm trying to comfort other people to believe that they can do it too, no matter how many times they've fallen.  Which is why I'm always telling you about most attempts.

ANYWAY!  So that is why I'm proud of those numbers.  Because of how hard I had to work to even get to this point.  It's also exciting to know that I've managed it while having plenty of treats throughout, and whilst being extremely 'broken' (injured).

However (!) time to move on from being proud, as it's only 4 weeks into a 12 week round, I have a lot more work ahead of me, not to mention after the round!  Checkpoints like today are nice though. :)

This is my sticker chart (I took this on Sunday night: this includes the last week of pre-season where I was on track as well):

So many stickers at the top!

I've had perfect 7/7's for my Nutrition and Training!

My money rewards jar is being added to as well:

Gathering me some cash!

Week 4 and some of Week 5's cook-up / prep

I ended up doing a 1.5 week cook-up and prep on Sunday: so everything is done for this current Week 4, as well as half of Week 5.  All I need to organise this weekend is my Week 5 dinners and snacks.  These cook-ups have really been helping me stay on track: because the food's there and ready to go so there's no excuses.



Speaking of cook-ups, I made the 12WBT Fried Rice as one of my meals: very yummy!  But it also looked awesome, so that's why you'll find this post littered with photos of it: because it looked so good and I had to share!

This

I found this quote the other day and it felt like it could be written for me, or any one of us.  And as two wonderful women, Gabi and Julie, said and made me feel heaps better, remember the tortoise and the hare story.  

I'll still make it. :)


Till next time, 
Kate x 


Photos of other stuff.  Mainly fried rice:

Fried rice!

My breakfasts and snacks laid out in day order in the fridge

So colourful

Fried rice for dinner and 3 extra serves for the week

I got my Mothers Day Classic "I Can't Be There, But...." medal in the mail!

Last pic of the fried rice, I promise

You try until...........................you get it.  YOU NEVER GIVE UP

Boot camp yesterday morning

Exercise selfies are not always smiley in cutesy singlets

'Weight loss journeys' are sometimes really hard.  Those terms are obviously synonymous: they're not usually a walk in the park.  But what can sometimes be even harder, is sticking with it when other, outside things are tough.  Especially if you're anything like me, and have used food as a coping technique for 18 years.  What do you do when those inevitable tough times hit, and you no longer want to use food as your way to cope?

That's been my struggle these past few days!  I'm going ok with the food, exercise etc.: that's actually on track.  But I was thrown a curve ball on Thursday when I came to the realisation that I don't have a 'healthy coping vice' to placate life's (non weight related) downs.  

I'm making it sound like this is the first time I've had a bad day while trying to lose weight.  Obviously not the case.  So I don't know why this week was so damn hard to deal with!

It was a really tough week.  And for some reason I felt the need to have a 'thing' to 'fix' it.  Maybe it's because I've been so off track for the past year that my commitment just wasn't there - so it was a lot easier to succumb when the going got tough.  But now I've finally picked myself up and am really, really focused and don't want to fall down?

Very fresh dinner tonight (and I used my fresh sweet basil!)

I don't know.  All I know is that to put it simply, I had a shit week and I wanted KFC to make it feel better.

And bacon chips.  And cookie dough ice cream, and the rest.

But I didn't let myself.  As painful as it is, I've been pushing through.  Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been perfect.  Thursday nights dinner was not nutritious in the slightest.  But I stuck to my calorie limit.  I very rarely eat something bad and say it's ok because I was within my calories....but on this occasion I let myself.  Other than that, and changing one meal on my plan tonight (to something equally as healthy!), I've been sticking extremely hard and fast to my food plan.

This morning I meant to go to parkrun...but I bailed on myself at 5:30am :(  I was really disappointed in myself for doing that.  Up till this morning, I've been so proud that I have

Haven't bailed on boot camp. (Although I had 2 comments I need to stop hiding at the back in pics)

been fronting up to boot camp and my own planned training sessions without fail.  So I felt like I'd failed myself to skip out on this morning and choose to sleep in instead.  I'm telling myself to get over it.  I really did need the sleep, and I made the exercise up later in the day, so I still hit my daily exercise goal!

In saying that, again, weekend training was like pulling teeth, because I have to 100% motivate myself.  During the week I have routine with exercising around work, and group training ie. people expecting me to be there.  But come Saturday and Sunday, I have to make more of an effort to a) fit it in, and b) get it done.  Tomorrow I have some interesting, planned stuff, so I should be ok.  And I've arranged to meet a friend at parkrun next Saturday, to make sure I don't repeat today and turn the alarm clock off instead.  I'm going to have to really work on the weekend exercise thing.

So even though it's been so hard to stick to, I am still on track.  I still haven't skipped out on a day of my calorie goals 'in' (food) and 'out' (exercise).  My polka dot dress photos this weekend (pic below and on my polka dot dress page) have pepped me up and made me realise that this is working, and that I need to just keep going and battling through, regardless of how things are.  

My exercise selfies from this week are very non smiling and quite depressing to look at.  I

Real life exercise selfie ;)

kept snapping away but I just couldn't smile.  I wasn't going to include any in this post, but you know I'm always blatantly real about how things are going.  Exercise selfies are not always smiley, bright, glistening eyed grins in cutesy exercise singlets showing off Polars/Garmins.  Sometimes they're sullen, sad and forlorn.  Because that's real life and you push through with your weight loss journey regardless of life's tough times.  No matter how hard it is xx

4 weeks progress - made me so happy!

In the drivers seat

So, we're in Week 3.  Where is this time flying??  It truly feels like the round just began.

I have all little things to tell you but nothing major warranting a story (that I feel up to writing

Boot camp & treat breaky today

just yet anyway - I do have stories to tell soon!), so, just a quick catch up:

Am on track

'Weight loss journey wise', I'm going good.  It's like one of the only parts in my life that is actually going 'good', so I'm holding onto it very tightly!  I was chatting to a friend the other night who has just lost 20kg and looks amazing, and we were talking about how good it feels to be back in the drivers seat.  When other things don't seem to be going my way, knowing I'm in control of this aspect of my life is helping my mindset one hundred fold.  

For now at least

Who knows whether I'll stick to it, if you've followed me for more than an hour you will know

My weight loss story in one sentence

that this is attempt #219973451 of picking myself up on my mission to get to goal weight, so if my history is anything to go by... But I will still try.  I read a quote this week that I love and that summed me up so well: "You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit."  

I'll just keep trying.
 

Weight loss!

Week 3 weigh in was today; I lost 1.8kg this week which brings me to a total of 6.8kg lost for the round so far!  I'm so, so proud of myself.  For getting back up (again), after

Today's weigh in!

over a years worth of falls.  And for managing to lose this amount when I'm so injured and also the fact that I've had a fair amount of treats through the 3 weeks (my calorie free rules).
  

I hate injuries

Speaking of injuries, I'm particularly over it today.  I was at boot camp this morning and I was impressed with my heart rate and what I managed to do (there was a lot of boxing and bear crawls in this mornings session, and I could still do both of those).  But I had a little moment when I just felt so crushed that I (temporarily) can't run.  There’s so much I can’t do right now, but not being able to run is of course the hardest. Aside from my beloved running events, just simple running in between sets or as a warm up at boot camp has been my norm for so long, and I hate that I

Lunch today

can't do that.  It really breaks my heart not being able to feel that post run glow and the benefit of the increased heart rate.  I manage around it, it's fine, but sometimes it really makes me sad.

Cook-up worked

My 3 week cook-up has been working wonders.  I may have hated the cooking at the time and complained and whinged and moaned (to myself mainly!) but I attribute much of my commitment this round to having my meals planned, prepped / cooked and ready to go.  Meal wise, every day has been a dream.  And I've actually stuck to it.  Usually when I do big cook ups, I cram my freezer with not only meals, but the best intentions.... Those intentions usually fall by the wayside and months later I usually have a frostbitten, less desirable stack of meals still taking up room in the freezer.  The last 2.5 weeks though, I've stuck to my plan and actually used

Lunch yesterday (I just realised, same as today)

the meals.  (What a novel idea!)  The freezer is almost empty again!  There were 3 meals I forgot I was eating out at and 1 meal I really felt like something else and let myself, but I think the rest I have stuck to.  Now comes the dilemma of what to do next week.  Do I go through the pain and suffering of another cook-up to reap the rewards? ;)

Getting it done

I've continued my 'no excuses' mantra and have been getting it done every day.  I'm so proud, my sticker chart has 7/7 stickers each and every week for Nutrition and Exercise.  I haven't stuffed up one day (yet!)  I'm sure I

Post boot camp selfies

will one day but for now I'm pretty proud.  I also haven't let myself deviate or have any sneaky mouthfuls here and there, outside of my planned 'cal free items'.  The occasional quick spoonful of Gippsland creamy yoghurt or an extra grape here or there has in the past been the start of my undoing, so I've been strict.  In saying that, my rules do allow me treats, which is one reason why I feel I can be strict the rest of the time.  Tonight I had a one off though.  I suddenly felt like chocolate.  I LOVE chocolate but it's not usually my 'go to' craving.  (I'd have chips before chocolate.  Followed by the chocolate haha).

But tonight I suddenly wanted some.  Thanks PMS.  My first train of thought went something like this:

But the next moment I realised, you know what, just have some.  Now usually I allow cravings to continue for a while to make sure they’re real.  But this was one of those times I knew straight away.  There was no doubt.  So I said to myself, if you want it, Kate, just have some. 

Now this was an experimental risk at this early stage of one of my million attempts, but I had 2 squares to satisfy the taste, and that was it.  This was about an hour ago and so far so good, I haven’t thought about it again until I started blogging about it!

Some days it’s been hard but I’ve gotten it done every day.  This week I think I only had 2 ‘injury forced’ rest days.  Last week I think I had 3 and a half.  (I allow myself a sticker if it’s a genuinely physically forced rest day).  The rest of the days I’ve hit my calorie burnt target.  I’ve had a few walks outside late at night (check out my Instagram post for a cool safety app I’ve started using!) and have also been using my treadmill the last few days which I haven’t done in a while.

Crazy girl on the ramp.  And in the carpark.

The ramp

Food wise I’ve been avoiding work morning teas and lunches as much as I can.  Friday I struggled to find time to exercise.  I ended up walking up and down a ramp in a shopping centre while I waited for an appointment.  100 cals for the win!  Then later that night I was out at dinner and there was birthday cake.  While everyone was eating it, I actually walked outside and walked around and around the carpark.  This sounds a bit obsessive, but I promise it wasn’t like that.  I was getting hot and sick and needed to go outside to cool down anyway, so when the cake came out I thought “why not now?”   

I ended up standing near smokers and the smoke was bothering me (says I, an ex heavy

smoker!) and I also had just 70 more cals to burn for the day.  So again I thought “why not?” and I walked around the carpark for 10min.  It was either that or do squats in my friends living room after dinner (I told you, I have no excuses!)  I only admitted what I was doing to one friend from that night because it probably seemed a bit nutty, but hey, you fit in exercise where you can – and if it’s avoiding me being jealous of cake, then bonus!

Challenges on track

And the carpark

Challenges / milestones wise I am actually on track with, too!  (Can ya believe it??)  I’m trying to do all of the 12WBT weekly challenges.  I haven’t done them since they changed a year or so ago from the weekly comps as they were so much fun and creative and taught me so much.  But I challenged

#12wbtgreenie

myself to follow these ones for this round, just to give myself a bit more motivation from involvement, if that makes sense.  And as of tonight, I am (so far) up to date.  

I wrote my letter to myself (and used a cool website (thanks for the tip Mrs Z on IG!) which emails it back to you on a nominated date!  I’ve chosen to have it sent to me on the last weigh in day of this round). #12wbtletter, done.  

Sneaking rice crackers under a meeting table

Week 2’s challenge was stairs: but this is what did my knee in so there is no way I could do that.  I can barely walk up the stairs to get to my apartment each night!  Instead I modified it to suit me and did the same amount of steps we were supposed to do, but on a hill.  I was going to do it outside on a real hill but got home late, so did it on the highest incline on my treadmill.  Tick for #12wbtstepup.

Week 3 was #12wbtgreenie: I went out and bought a little fresh sweet basil plant tonight.  I didn’t go nuts and buy more than one, because I am a hopeless gardener and will probably

kill the herbs before I get to eat it.  If this basil can last till this weekend when I am due for a cook-up, I will be impressed.  I can manage this kind of gardening: 1) Buy from Coles and 2) Place on kitchen bench!

And grapes

My personal mini milestones are on track too: Week 1 I had specific organise-y tasks which I have done.  Week 2 is that damn “Girl In Blue” challenge that I made up about 74 years ago and continue to ‘mean to’ do each round.  But yesterday I actually started doing it!  Wonders will never cease.  Thanks to one of my lovely IG followers / policewoman Joanne, I now have the info of

what the police fitness test is!  I’ll post more about this when I start working on it on Sunday.  And this / next weekend I plan to start my water running and try a new parkrun.

#operationpolkadotdress

My polka dot dress challenge is going well too, I’ve updated the pics here.

Gadget Girl

Also, I found my long lost FitBit!  I lost it about 6 months ago.  I knew it was in my room as my

phone picked it up when it was syncing, until the battery died.  I assumed it was in some random corner or had fallen into some clothes, as my room is always really tidy.  Do you know where I found it? 

In my little box that I keep gadgets like my FitBit in.

Of course, why would I look there, where it was supposed to be all this time?  Hopeless.  Doubly hopeless, is I found it on the day I realised I lost my Garmin!  I have no idea where it is, because as I said, everything is tidy!  In saying that, I’ve switched back to my Polar recently, because my Garmin stopped showing my correct heart rate :(  I was

I chose this over my fave pub meals!

surprised my Polar worked as it’s temperamental, but it’s been going well 90% of the time.  Usually I can’t handle when I don’t know my real heart rate, but I’ve been managing to estimate my burns by previous alike sessions and I’ve been coping with that.  Tomorrow I may not be able to wear my Polar at all, as I’m about to bandage under my chest: this morning I got the worst chafing from not wearing a crop top!  Now I know why I wear them over my bras!  It’s so painful, and don’t even mention the stinging in the shower!

 

Other than that

Other than all of that, as happy and fairy tale as most of that sounds, I’m actually going through a bit of a rough patch.  Specifically this week, my main thing is self esteem issues.  I could go on and be descriptive, but basically I just don’t feel good enough, and I’m finding it a bit tough.

That’s about it for me right now.  Just wanted to say hey.  Chat soon xo

Boot camp last week x