Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Sometimes I do stupid things and I don't know why




Do you remember this post?

Keep your head held high 

Or this picture?
 

















Well check out the potentially stupid thing I did this week:

 
 










SERIOUSLY!

Why do I do this to myself?

If I'm speaking in too much code, or you can't be bothered to read the linked post above, in a nutshell this is what I have done:
  • I did my 1st triathlon in October 2012.
  • I completed it but came very last out of 4 events that were held that day.  Not only my event, but the whole event that started after me overtook me.  Every single person.
  • I was shattered during and after the event.  I hyperventilated during the run when I realised I was the last one there and have never held my head higher than I have in my life as I had to do to get through that finish banner.
  • I decided to try another tri in April 2013.
  • This month when I was working out my goals, somehow "Bribie Tri" appeared on my Week 3 list.  HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?  It was full on enough I was doing another one in April!  But the start of March?
  • I wrote it down but didn't think much about it.
  • Yesterday I registered for the event.
  • I asked a few friends yesterday if I was stupid - I meant that question to the core of it's being.  Truly - what am I doing??
I am petrified.  The weird thing is, I am not petrified of finishing it.  I know I will finish it.  I probably wouldn't have signed up if I didn't think I could.  I'm not that stupid. ;)  (Well, I think I will finish it!)
 
I've been thinking about it non stop ever since. I am so so scared.  I sat back and was thinking WELL WHY DID I ENTER?  AND WHY, EVEN THOUGH I AM TERRIFIED, AM I STILL GOING TO SHOW UP ON SATURDAY?  I was wondering what am I actually scared of?

I'm scared of the water (just a recently developed breathing/anxiety issue).  Also this is my first open water swim!  I'm a little scared about coming last.  It's not the fact that I would be last --- someone has to be and I know I'm still doing it blah blah blah.   If you've been reading my blog you'll know about THE Bike Ride and since then I have been last at a few events.

I think I'm actually scared of upsetting myself SO much at the event, if this happens again.  My event is the last of the day.  Yes I'm a lot lighter and more fit now.  But it was only 4 months ago!  And I'm still obese!!!!!!  It's highly likely I will be last again.

I have lost all confidence in myself lately and I don't want to break down again.  YET I AM STILL DOING IT.  Why do I do this to myself?  Am I really trying to push through boundaries?  Maybe I am just holding out hope that one day I will do an event that is hard and I will not be last and then that will be an achievement.  Is it just a matter of try and try and try and try again?  Or am I just stupid?  I truly don't know.  Probable self-inflicted torture sounds like fun, doesn't it?  Is it that there is some reward in pushing personal boundaries?  (Over and over and over again).  Or is it just that if it doesn't challenge you.....it doesn't change you.....and I really need to change....?

Sunday, 24 February 2013

Operation Organised


Anything helps

Well after my big reveal that I am not actually Super Girl (I know, it came as quite a shock to me, too), I have been getting down and dirty with getting back to the basics of organising myself for Round 1.

I set myself up for Round 4 with some stuff that worked for me, so I decided to do similar things now to get myself back on track.  There’s nothing earth shatteringly new or any dramatically invented tricks of the trade here.  It’s just plain old basic stuff, Mish/12WBT advised stuff, things that have worked for me stuff, and plain common sense stuff.  Essentially, the stuff that works. :)

Here’s what I did and here’s my plan of attack:

Mish and The Magic 8

My first step was to do my Pre-season tasks.  There’s a reason Mish puts these out, and it’s not to occupy us until the round starts.  Each one is so important.  I know that it’s probably no coincidence that the rounds where I haven’t done as well, I haven’t done the Pre-season tasks…  The other night I got home from boot camp, I cooked dinner, I sat down, and I watched each video - even for the tasks I'd already completed out of habit.  I did each task.  And I ticked each one off.  With 'military precision.' ;)  I then caught up on Mish’s Week 1 and Week 2 videos and Snip Tip videos.  Done, done, and inspired. 

This is my 'Say it out loud' commitment that I put up all over the place, on social media and printed it out for home once I'd done it.  Each thing is what I commit to trying to achieve.  These feed up into my goals:

My commitment to myself, my friends, my family, Mish, 12WBT, my trainers, my 30+ crew, my HBW gals, my QLD crew, my bootcampers, my 12WBTers and my other crews.
 
Dear Diary

I know this is one of the Pre-Season tasks, but it deserves its own category: Diarising and Organising.  This is what I’ve been missing!  My calendar and To Do list are usually my 3rd and 4th arms.  They are these amazing vehicles that keep me on track.  When these aren’t up to date, I’m left feeling pretty sick and I can more easily screw my life up like I've done recently.  So this week I got reacquainted with my old friends Outlook and ToDo (an iPhone app by Appigo).

I’VE MISSED THIS!  I can not describe how much better this instantly made me feel.  Training days, rest days, red flag days, meal planning days, grocery shopping days, weigh in days, Mish video days, everything - and of course, --- the rest of my life --- all of it is updated and in my calendar.  And I started afresh with a new To Do list that I am still rebuilding.  2012’s list has been put to bed.  2013 is the list I now go by :)

Inspiration surrounds...
My Round 1 inspiration board


In a quest to continue to be surrounded only by positive and inspiring stuff, I did a few things:
My inspiration wall / wall that makes me smile is growing!
  • I did my Inspiration Board last week for the weekly challenge.
  • I spent some time updating my physical inspiration wall and surrounding myself with other reminders around my apartment of my goals and a few pick me ups.  When I found myself sticky taping some inspiration in my pantry I realised I was getting a bit over the top...but it's not hurting anyone and I am happy to try anything that can inspire me and keep me going.  So I put more up ;)
  • I wrote on my mirror with lipstick (see pic above) - a great idea I've seen others do in the past.  Again, it's worth trying anything!
#getinspired

Bring on the apocalypse

Well actually, please DON'T, but I feel like I could face one if I had to, because I just cooked 78 meals!  My freezer would be so good in an emergency right now.

It took me a couple of nights but it is going to save me SO much time. At the start of Round 4 I did a big cook up and the meals that I prepared and froze ended up lasting me the entire round, so I think this weeks effort will do the same!  I cooked/prepared 78 meals: 9 different 12WBT recipes.

The coolest thing with this is I worked out how much it cost me for all of these meals.  My groceries cost $159.20.  This works out to be less than $2.04 per meal because the groceries included my snacks for next week.  How cheap is that?  And this cost was including having to replenish heaps of stuff that I would usually have in my fridge/freezer as I had to empty the contents a couple of weeks ago from the QLD floods.  It's very frustrating having to re-buy all of the little jars that are usually just staples of any fridge.  So that is less than $2 a meal including having to buy everything from scratch!  Cheapest takeaway ever.
78 meals ready to go!

My last day at my work was Friday - so until something comes through, I am officially unemployed.  So I may be barefoot and broke but I at least I will have good nutrition! ;)


I'm not usually this anal, I promise.  I'm just riding with it while it lasts ;)


Aim for the moon

Ahhhh.  GOALS.
So many goals.
I was drowning in the mere thought of wanting to do so much, let alone achieving them!  And between you and me, some of them stopped interesting me.  Then why try and do themSo I took a tip from a beautiful friend of mine, De.  She said recently, about goals: "Does it take your breath away?"
That's all I needed to remember.  Now, each of my goals does take my breath away.
 
Streamlined.
One list.
Flexible.
I may not make them all.
Some are huge and potentially unattainable.
But you've gotta aim for the moon...
 
I now have goals, challenges and tasks.  Goals take my breath away.  Challenges are things to push my own boundaries.  Tasks are goals that don't take my breath away but I want to get done. :)

My challenges: Like last round, I have made a personal challenge for myself for each week of this round.  Kind of like a weekly mini milestone.  I'm dubbing this list: "Do all the running events" because that seems to be what I'm focussing on this round.  Below is also my rejigged mini plan - just a list of basic stuff that I try to follow to keep me on track to achieve my bigger goals.

Weekly challenges AKA #doalltherunningevents

Week 1
Get organised
Week 2
Get organised
Week 3
Swim training AKA Operation Get Back In The Water

Bribie Tri

32km walk for my 32nd birthday
Week 4
International Women's Day Fun Run

Be under 100kg

Start dancing

Get back to parkrun
Week 5
Mooloolaba Twilight Run - 5km in 0:37:30
Week 6
Twilight Running Festival - 10km
Week 7
See the fireflies / glow worms in the Gold Coast Hinterland
Week 8
Triathlon Pink Brisbane & Pink 5km run
Week 9
Zombie Run

Colour Run
Week 10
Run 10km in 1:15:00
Week 11
Climb/walk Mt Coot-tha loop via road
Week 12
Run 12km in 1:30:00

Significantly reduce Diet Coke
 

Mini plan

Daily
Stick to nutrition plan
Daily
Stick to training plan
Daily
Track all food
Daily
Track all exercise
Daily
Drink 4L water a day & 1L per hour of exercise
Weekly
Do the weekly challenge
Weekly
Go through nutrition plans / plan meals / shop
Weekly
Watch all of Mish's videos
Monthly
Reassess goals
Monthly
Do a cook up if needed
 

Next weeks goal weight reminders.  I can't escape it!

The most important thing in this list

I have to now put my head down and bum up.  Miss All or Nothing here can have her extremes: be behind in everything and self sabotage, or do all the great things of a highly organised person and make it look pretty cool on a blog post.  But the latter is just as effective as the non-taken multivitamins sitting on my kitchen bench; if I don't actually do the work that I've now set myself up forIt's awesome to have plans but now comes the hard bit.

It's time to put my head down, my bum up, and work my backside off to get to my goals.  This whole thing isn't easy!  But to put it completely simply:

I love the journey. 
And I want to reach my goals.

And that's why I do it.

THIS


Basil - this is as green thumb as I get

One of my fave meals: Chicken Parmigiana





This isn't an organise-y pic, but I fit into an old denim skirt I used to love yesterday and I thought that was a pretty cool thing to share :)



My Top 20 prize arrived, so exciting!  Including a very cool fitbit!  The box was so big I took a photo!


The back of my front door.  The last thing I see when I leave the house each day.  The above pink frame has a quote: "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"