Weight loss update

Hi!

Last you heard from me, I was 3 days into my first attempt at losing weight in approximately 3 years.

It's now 8 months later.

I'd love to say that while I've been unfocused on blogging, that the weight loss is going well and I've made significant progress with the scales, clothing sizes, fitness, health and my relationship with food.

But while the former is true (I haven't been focused on blogging), the rest of it is not.

There's a reason, but it's not my usual one.

When it comes to weight loss endeavours, ever since I can remember (prior to my July attempt), I've stuck to plans, used numbers, tracked everything under the sun, became obsessive and strove for perfection.

While that way may help others, it took me years to realise that it wasn't for me, and that it was hindering every bit of progress that I made.  That's where I was at in July and what helped me restart - with a renewed focus of no tracking or numbers.

The first week was great.  I weighed myself at the end of week 1 and was stoked to see that I'd lost 6kg.

I was reminded then that I was saying no to all the numbers, so after that weigh in, I opted not to weigh myself regularly like I always had before.

The next week I continued, (as my previous two blog posts explain), and cut out most of the crap, still eating some but mostly eating mindfully.  I got to the end of the week and didn't weigh in, coz #nonumbers

The next week I continued, but found myself eating a bit more crap - I was 'allowed' to, but I was having a bit more than I should; because who was going to know?  How was it going to affect me if I'm not weighing myself?  An extra packet of chips here or KFC meal there was so much easier to slip in.

This gradually continued and pretty soon I became lost again. The line became very blurry between 'eating mostly junk all the time like I don't care' and 'eating occasional junk because I'm trying to lose weight but in a way that's kind to me so I don't feel deprived.'

Before I knew it, I was in a sense completely back to old eating habits, but not acknowledging it as such, because I wasn't weighing myself.

I wasn't so daft that I was believing 'who will ever know...?', but let's just say that ignorance is bliss.

And of course, in my defence, it wasn't ignorance alone.  It was 30 odd years of habits and comfort eating.  I never drew the line in the sand and said "that's it, the diet is OFF!" (I use the term 'diet' extremely loosely, because this is for life, but you get what I mean).  But I also wasn't kidding myself that I was actively actioning it.  The days, weeks, months just rolled over and the next minute it was 2021.

During this time I realised that I do need *some* accountability, and while I definitely didn't and don't want to be a slave to fixating on calories in and out, I realised that I needed to track something.  I knew that if I kept going, eventually I'd see progress in my clothes fitting better, that sort of thing.  But *not weighing* myself wasn't working.  I guess I needed more immediate confirmation that I was on the right track.

It's still not about the scales, and I'm not setting goal numbers by certain dates, and don't necessarily have a weigh in day (although I have been weighing weekly so far).  But I know that I need to weigh myself.  My intention is to just use it as a check-in and guide eg. if I don't lose weight for 2 months, it might be time to lessen the frequency of KFC 6 piece feeds, that sort of thing.😉

My birthday is at the end of January, and it was a significant birthday this year; so I used it as a type of 'fresh start'.  I waited for a few days after it so I could eat all the birthday cake, and like July 2020, the only fanfare of starting is that I had a 'start date' (Tuesday 2nd February), and I weighed myself at the start.

For those following along at home, I was about 1kg heavier at my start date this time, compared to July.  So technically I'd put on 7kg in that time (including the 6kg I lost that first week).  But most of that 6kg would have been water weight so my weight gain was closer to the 1kg than the 7kg.  Which I think is bloody amazing, considering the crap I've been eating for 8 months.

Anyway, it's now been a month and I'm finally ready to share that I'm actively working on it. 

I've lost 5kg in that time.  I wanted to wait for a few weeks before talking about it with anyone, just to make sure the new way of doing things was working for me first (process wise, not scale results).  It was pretty embarrassing in July to say "hey guys, as of today I'm losing weight!"...  7 days later share the scale victory and then never speak about it again,🤣

Maybe I'll fuck it up, but I feel good about it.  5kg in 4 weeks / 1 month is super slow for me, but it's in the right direction, and that's my focus and reason for weighing.

I'll share how it's been going in my next post, because it's been a bit up and down.
💓Kate xo