"When do you think I can run again?"

Hello!

I have a few things to chat about today, but firstly, if you're reading this on a computer, check out the side panel of my blog ------> I finally worked out how to add my Instagram feed onto my blog!  Seeing as my blog posts aren't exactly daily (or weekly!) at the moment, this is the perfect way for me to keep you up to date, as I post on Instagram way more regularly!  I feel I'll be blogging more regularly now, but in any case, it's nice to know that I can share my day to day stories here, too, instead of having to retell tales.

Also while I was being all pro with Javascript (or HTML?) and stuff, I noticed something pretty incredible, in that this blog has now reached over 200000 hits.  It's pretty special to see that when I think about when I started this blog, how nervous I was, and how it took me months to even include a photo of myself on here.

To anyone reading this who has been following my journey since Day '1', recently, or anywhere in between, I sincerely say thank you.  I may not always get to answering messages and comments, but please know that I read everything and the support that I get from people following me is one of the major things that keeps me going.

Because it has been (yet again!) :o a few weeks since I posted, there's heaps to catch up on, but first I just wanted to share my exciting visit to the Osteopath today!

It's been way too long between visits to Dr Bec.  She's the most incredible Osteo - I went to multiple Chiros and Physios before I heard about this place.  It's the only thing that's ever assisted with my back issues.

For many reasons, I haven't been to see Bec since...she told me today, December 2013. 

That is not cool.  Back when this happened, it was a sharp wake up call to me that I had to make Osteo visits a priority, not just a "when I can type of thing".

It's now April and I finally went along today.  I've been putting other things in front of looking after myself and it can't continue like that any more.  (More on that in an upcoming post!)

I've been sick in bed for a couple of days and have had some time to do some organising and researching.  I reorganised my health insurance to make it more affordable to be able to go along regularly, and in my research came across something called a "Chronic Disease Management Plan".  In Australia you can assessed to go on one of these from your GP and it creates a management plan that allows you to be able to get Medicare rebates for some visits to health professionals, in my case, my Osteo.

I've been dealing with my back since I was 16, I'm surprised I didn't know this was an option until now - my GP's have only ever given me painkillers.  I asked about the plan today as I was already going to my GP and 10min. later, I had it.  That easy!

Anyway, back to Dr Bec.  I booked a double appointment as I have so many issues at the moment: I needed to give her a full rundown and then I also needed time to get worked on!  I spoke about my back, my knee injury, chest pain (I've had it checked and have been told it's muscular), major stress causing tightness, and my ongoing mystery "O" pain.  She had her

work cut out for her but, as always, was brilliant.  She just knows what's going on and manoeuvred me so well.  I'm in a place where I'm so limited with exercises when so many parts of me have issues.

My back and "O pain" are ongoing things but she still worked on them, she started work on my chest and knee, and focused mainly on my stress / tightness.

With my knee, I was hoping to see what her thoughts were about it, to hopefully get a diagnosis and a semi idea about when I might be able to run again.  I haven't run since I hurt my knee, which was about the 1st February.  I already thought it was an overuse injury, and yes, that's what it is.  It was nice to get a bit more understanding about it though.  It's likely to be "Patella Tendonitis" - in my words: "Doing stairs religiously every day in January caused me to overuse my knee and damage it".

I've mentioned before how I love doing "stairs", my internal stairs in my apartment block, to supplement my exercise.  It doesn't matter what time of day it is, or the weather, I can get it done.  I was so good and onto it in January.  Up and down those stairs I went, from New Years Day, pretty much daily.  It's all fun and games until someone damages a knee though.....

I can't describe how happy I was to get on top of all of this, and to have this stuff seen to.  Organising a little plan with Dr Bec, getting my health insurance updated and getting a pain management plan has done wonders for my mindset.  I've spent the past 10 weeks being patient with my knee and not running, just following my initial care plan, but today was a major step forward into getting 'fixed'.

Halfway through my appointment, I asked Bec the all important question, "when do you think I can run again?"  It's early days in this rehabilitaion plan but at first guess, she said.............

Two months.

Now long time readers will know me quite well and know that this timeframe has probably shattered me to tears.  If anyone recalls my Gold Coast Marathon disappointment and how I constantly overthink things and how I put too many expectations on myself and push myself no matter what (do I need to go on?) ------- you'd be forgiven to think that this news has sent me into a tailspin.

But it hasn't.  I think it's just that I've had time (10 weeks!) to get myself used to the idea.  The past 10 weeks has coincedentally also taught me a lot about how I need to put myself first (I will talk more on this!) and I think I'm just at a point where I know I need to do things properly, look after myself and only do what I can do.  (Kate, is that you??)

I got to have a chat with the one and only Mish a few weeks ago, and it was the most rewarding chat.  I mentioned that I hadn't been able to do my usual exercise of late, because of my knee.  She shared with me that she'd recently had a knee reconstruction and had

been in pretty much the same position as me.  I can't describe how inspiring this spontaneous chat turned out to be.  She understood how frustrating it was, she explained how she instead controlled what she could, and then shared with me, and listed for a couple of minutes, many exercises that we can do when we can't work our knees.  I had no idea there were so many, and it gave me a renewed energy that yes, there was stuff I could do in the meantime. 

I've continued going to boot camp through this knee injury, and that's been my saviour - my trainer Margie is awesome and we have adapted things so that I can still participate.  I would be practically sedentary if it weren't for it.  But outside of boot camp, I've been at a loss as to what I can do to keep active while I have this injury.  This chat gave me inspiration and ideas.

It was also inspiring to me because 5min. previous, I had seen Mish lead a workout, and she was jumping up and down with so much energy that when I realised she'd recently had knee surgery, it made me teary with hope, that one day again soon, I'll too be able to jump up and down, and run, and do all the things I'm so used to doing, once again.  She said something to me that's stuck in my mind, too: "Control the controllables". 

I've thought of that phrase so much lately....

I think I've just had time to get used to this idea and realise that sometimes we just have to be patient.  I'm not in a good place at the moment (I will explain next post), and being in this 'place' has also helped me to feel ready to just ride out what needs to be ridden out, to 'control the controllables', and work hard so that when it all calms down, I will be ready to get out there and do what I want to do.

I had a running break when I hurt my ankle and had my moon boot on 18 months ago.  I had just started to be able to run 5km before I hurt my ankle.  I kept my exercise up (walking etc.) while I was wearing it, and when it came off, I had lost 19kg and was suddenly able to run 11km.  So I have valid personal proof that running breaks can be managed well! 

I'm not saying having a break will be easy: I struggled last weekend when the Australian Running Festival was on in Canberra that I had booked (and subsequently cancelled) my flights to - it was hard knowing it was going on when I had planned to be there.  And I have a wholllllllle list of runs I had planned to do this year.  But I have to be strong and just do what I can.  At least now I have an idea of when I might be able to run again, and now I can start replanning and setting new goals (one of my favourite things).  There are always going to be challenges.  We just have to never give up and we'll get there. 

I'll leave it for there tonight, but I just wanted to share where I'm at with the running side of things.  This doesn't mean I can't control my weight - I still have the ability to do that.  Hopefully soon we'll get the other pains managed as well.  But in the meantime, I will control the controllables, try and stay positive, replan my goals and move forward!

Love Kate xo