Day '1'

Hiiiiiiii!

Happy July 😉 So last we spoke, I was bruised and accidentally making my baby a penis cake 🙈 for my twinnies 1st birthday party.

Eight months on and I still haven't written Part 2 of that story.  And that right there pretty much sums up part of what this post is all about.

Not doing things for seven months, twelve months, 3 years, however long, has been my jam and as of today I'm attempting my hardest to stop this habit.

This is a topic I'll have to explore over time and future posts, but basically from today I'm making a more concerted effort to get things done.  I've been on a quest to simplify my life for a while now and there's a million things that feel like they are 'choking' this quest.  My 'procrastination' thing is not really procrastination; it's actually due to a couple of significant reasons and I think I have to allow myself more grace over this and forgive myself.  I'll talk more about this another day but it's certainly not due to laziness or a can't-be-bothered attitude.

However whatever the reason, not actioning stuff is holding up so much for me, including simplifying my life.  I long to be back in an organised state, so that I have the brainspace to be able to focus on what matters and to feel I have control again.  So while my stories will forever be complex (that has never changed 😉), I don't want my lifestyle to be.

And the major and most significant (and relevant to share here) change I'm making from today is that I'm focusing on my health once more.  In the past I'd refer to this day as 'turning over a new leaf' or 'Day 1' or  'restarting' or 'resetting' or 'Attempt #347221' or 'Operation Birthday / Christmas / Easter / Mothers or Fathers Day / any day' but I'm doing things a little differently this time.

I'll share more over time of course.  I may even call today one of those things from time to time.  But there's no well thought out title to 'inscript' on the 13th July 2020.  (Edit - I'm titling this post 'Day 1' because I can't think of anything else more apt for it - but I use the term loosely).

There'll be no charts (I know!), no jars, no tracking, no goal number, none of my usual recording stuff.

I haven't attempted to lose weight for years (literally, it's been at least 2-3 years between attempts, if not more).  I was sick of trying and failing.  I know that you never truly fail unless you give up trying.  But that's the thing.  I have never given up.  I of course haven't been actively 'trying' - the Maltesers chocolate block wrappers on my bedside table can attest to that - but I've never given up on the goal.  I always knew that I would get there again - but the reason it's been so long in between 'start dates' is that I wanted to be confident in how I was to approach it (the process) the next time.  I know that so much needed to change; hence how I've gotten to this place of now doing things differently.

I'll be honest (of course! 😂); I have no concrete plans.  I have nothing written down.  I haven't cleaned out my kitchen of junk.  I haven't done a huge healthy grocery shop.  I haven't charged let alone put on my smart watch to track my daily calories in and out.  I have no idea how (few) steps I've done today, nor do I care.  I've done nothing in preparation (yet on the other hand, I've done everything 💗).

The only things that I've done that are like I've done before, are:

• I decided on a 'start' date and mentally worked towards it
• I've weighed myself so I know where I 'started'
• I haven't told anyone (until this post - why not make the first person that you share it with, be the whole world? Haha no, seriously, I don't know why but I have always been like this - my 'start' dates have always been something I need to keep to myself?)
• I ate KFC for dinner last night.  Because are you even starting afresh if you don't have KFC the night before??

But that's it.  I'll be taking each step at a time.  And there will be steps and they will not go in a straight line.  I will not kid to myself that it'll all be muesli and chicken salads from here on in.  It won't be at all.

And while I haven't shared this plan with anyone until now, that's where my privateness in regards to this ends.  One thing that has definitely worked for me in the past and that I'm happy to continue, is to share the ups and downs of this journey, and allow strangers (and family and friends) to be my cheersquad

That fruit / yoghurt / oats breaky that I shared on the 'gram this morning might make more sense now.😉

Welcome back to me.  Thank you for hanging in there until I was ready.