Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Moving on. Who am I?!


I just wanted to say a quick hello to get off my chest where I'm at.  I think I'm at home.  I am...but I'm at a point where I do have to stop and think.  Over the past 2 weeks I've been to the Gold Coast, out to Dalby, to Adelaide twice, to Melbourne six times and to Hobart twice.  Crazy travel.  I keep waking up and having to think about where I am.

I just got home tonight and I feel like I've just come off a ship, as I'm still rocking/swaying - but it's from flying.  7 flights in the past 2 days will probably do that!  The crazy travel is over
Sunrise this morning
now, until the next time.  The travel's been a little bit for running and theatre, but mainly for work.

At the start of the month, I knew that this would be an insane period, and I tried to plan.

Sort of.  

I didn't do a great job.  In fact, I dismally failed.  I tried to manage it anyway... I attempted to go to one hotel gym last week but that was an utter fail.  I haven't tried since.  (The Fitness Centre was on the same floor of my hotel last night - did that make me feel guilty or what?)  I have hardly been in Brisbane to attend boot camp.  And my diet has consisted of a combination of aeroplane snacks, room service and food delivered to me at my desk because I've been too busy to move.

I could dissect what I did wrong, or how I could have done better.  I could beat myself up about it or continue feeling down on myself, like I have the past few days.

But what good would that serve?
Snow! In Tasmania today

It's a bit weird that I'm thinking this way.  This #crazytravel isn't the norm for me, but it's not like it's the first time I've fallen off the wagon over the past 2 years, for whatever reason.  I'm pretty sure we all know that I'm the Queen of falling off the wagon.  But for the first time, I'm feeling a bit different about it.

Somewhere today, at some point while I was above the clouds, I realised what I need to do.

This is going to sound very brash for someone as emotional and sensitive as me.  But I realised I need to let it go, look at the big picture, suck it up, make a plan, and move on.

Dwelling on my bad choices or externally enforced time constraints isn't going to fix what's happened.  And in the big picture, it's just 2 weeks. 

Please don't get me wrong.  I am not happy with myself and I know that if I have goals, I need to work at them.

But that's the point.  There's no benefit in feeling down or sad, like I've started to do.  I just have to move on and make things better.  The more time I spend dwelling on past mistakes is less time and effort I have in making it work.

Above the clouds
And I have to keep the big picture in mind: in the big scheme of the world, especially now, I am extremely blessed.

Give me a couple of days to settle back home and I will be raring to keep going.  

I'm trying to keep perspective and not dwell...very grownup of me! ;)

If you've had a downfall of your own kind, join me here.  Let's draw a line in the sand, take a deep breath and keep going.  We still have this, I promise :) xo


  1. Thank you. I really, really needed this tonight as I sit here beating myself up and feeling like such a failure. I have kept off 25kgs for two years and I have had a fall off the wagon just a slight one in the last two weeks and I feel so awful, I feel like total crap and I just need to get back into my strong headspace. You do t know how much your sharing has comforted me not just okay but have followed your journey. Am so proud of you. I draw a line in the sand tonight. X Paula

  2. I'm drawing a line in the sand with you as I type this! I am currently doing the 12wbt and heading into Week 6. Weeks 1-3 were perfect and I was down a few kilos and feeling better with myself then at the start of week 4 I got sick (tonsillitis yet again) and my daughter was sick too so I just failed to plan my meals and hubby took up most of the dinner cooking. Then my exercise stopped too :( So, put me back to the start of Week 1 weight again and I know that I just have to get on with it - I know what I need to do and I'm wasting time stuffing around making excuses. Needed to hear this today :) Janelle