I just wanted to say a quick hello to get off my chest where I'm at. I think I'm at home. I am...but I'm at a point where I do have to stop and think. Over the past 2 weeks I've been to the Gold Coast, out to Dalby, to Adelaide twice, to Melbourne six times and to Hobart twice. Crazy travel. I keep waking up and having to think about where I am.
I just got home tonight and I feel like I've just come off a ship, as I'm still rocking/swaying - but it's from flying. 7 flights in the past 2 days will probably do that! The crazy travel is over
Sunrise this morning |
At the start of the month, I knew that this would be an insane period, and I tried to plan.
Sort of.
I didn't do a great job. In fact, I dismally failed. I tried to manage it anyway... I attempted to go to one hotel gym last week but that was an utter fail. I haven't tried since. (The Fitness Centre was on the same floor of my hotel last night - did that make me feel guilty or what?) I have hardly been in Brisbane to attend boot camp. And my diet has consisted of a combination of aeroplane snacks, room service and food delivered to me at my desk because I've been too busy to move.
I could dissect what I did wrong, or how I could have done better. I could beat myself up about it or continue feeling down on myself, like I have the past few days.
But what good would that serve?
Snow! In Tasmania today |
It's a bit weird that I'm thinking this way. This #crazytravel isn't the norm for me, but it's not like it's the first time I've fallen off the wagon over the past 2 years, for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure we all know that I'm the Queen of falling off the wagon. But for the first time, I'm feeling a bit different about it.
Somewhere today, at some point while I was above the clouds, I realised what I need to do.
This is going to sound very brash for someone as emotional and sensitive as me. But I realised I need to let it go, look at the big picture, suck it up, make a plan, and move on.
Dwelling on my bad choices or externally enforced time constraints isn't going to fix what's happened. And in the big picture, it's just 2 weeks.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not happy with myself and I know that if I have goals, I need to work at them.
But that's the point. There's no benefit in feeling down or sad, like I've started to do. I just have to move on and make things better. The more time I spend dwelling on past mistakes is less time and effort I have in making it work.
Above the clouds |
Give me a couple of days to settle back home and I will be raring to keep going.
I'm trying to keep perspective and not dwell...very grownup of me! ;)
If you've had a downfall of your own kind, join me here. Let's draw a line in the sand, take a deep breath and keep going. We still have this, I promise :) xo
Thank you. I really, really needed this tonight as I sit here beating myself up and feeling like such a failure. I have kept off 25kgs for two years and I have had a fall off the wagon just a slight one in the last two weeks and I feel so awful, I feel like total crap and I just need to get back into my strong headspace. You do t know how much your sharing has comforted me not just okay but have followed your journey. Am so proud of you. I draw a line in the sand tonight. X Paula
ReplyDeleteI'm drawing a line in the sand with you as I type this! I am currently doing the 12wbt and heading into Week 6. Weeks 1-3 were perfect and I was down a few kilos and feeling better with myself then at the start of week 4 I got sick (tonsillitis yet again) and my daughter was sick too so I just failed to plan my meals and hubby took up most of the dinner cooking. Then my exercise stopped too :( So, put me back to the start of Week 1 weight again and I know that I just have to get on with it - I know what I need to do and I'm wasting time stuffing around making excuses. Needed to hear this today :) Janelle
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