Neck fat, feeling like an athlete and crying in the spaghetti aisle

So many thoughts...so many things to tell you...random stuff, all out of order...just for something different...

Firstly...I was taking a photo of my back in the mirror the other day...before you think I have a secret fetish for backside selfies, it was just to check how bad my rolls of fat on my back were before I wore a certain top.  Anyway I took this random photo - for my eyes only - until...I looked at it.  I truly didn't recognise myself.  It reminded me of a couple of photos I took last year.  So I found the photos and it made me take note of how our bodies change in different areas.  My neck/chin fat is going...some of my rings now fit on my fingers again...I've dropped half a shoe size...these things are just as valid as the scales.  I thought my green 30+ shirt in the picture looked kind of good when I tried it on when I got it this day...

Back/chin/neck fat comparisons.  Left photos: 2012 sometime.  Right photo: this week

The amazing Corinne

I did the Mooloolaba Twilight Run!  And it was awesome!  It was such a fun event.  The support was amazing.  I felt like I had this beautiful support around me - the spectacular Corinne offered to be my cheerleader for the night - and in the lead up.  She was gorgeous in every way and was like my little pocket rocket of advice and love.  My beautiful friends Cathy and Sarah said that they were going to run with me so I wasn't alone.  Then I had the amazing Katie, Sonya and Lyndall and others there and online helping pick up race packs when I was stuck in traffic.

And then on the actual run, the crowd were amazing!  I haven't been to an event with so many spectactors along the way before!  There was so much atmosphere!  There were even little kids (and adults) putting their hands out from the sidelines along the course, for us to high 5 on the way.  The first time it happened I was thinking it must be a mistake, they must have a friend running behind me.  But no, they wanted to high 5 all of the runners!  To see these little kids faces filled with excitement to touch a runners hand- little did they know that myself, as a runner, was way more excited than them to be high 5'ing THEIR hands.  It was just beautiful and by the end of it I was high 5'ing everyone like I was in the Olympics or something - I felt like an athlete hahaa! :)

Sarah and I sprinting to the finish

It all went well - my foot held out and I actually credit that to me resting it in the lead up.  I was really proud of myself for doing that as I am not a patient 'rester' as you probably have noticed.  Also there were hills throughout the course and I coped fine.  The amazing Leanne helped me with a technique for my breathing anxiety issue and it has been working so well for a month now.  I may have just fixed that issue for good.... We'll see. :)

Anyway all was going ok - Cathy forced me to run on separately to them so I could make my personal best time.  When I say 'forced', let's just say that you do not argue, when in the middle of a 5km event, Cathy Sheargold completely stops, plants her feet on the ground and refuses to move unless you run off.  I will never forget her face. ;)  "Go Kate, go!"

Number 82 baby

I was going to write a post about how I still feel conflicted about either running with friends or running for my own time...but I won't.  I know I'm a respectful person and would never hurt anyone intentionally, ever.  I'm slowly learning to tell the difference between times when you run with your mate, and other times when your mate says to go for it - go for your own goal and not feel bad.  Friday night was a test of this.  I feel really uncomfortable still, but I know Cathy and Sarah were supporting me by telling me to go.  And then there was Cathy's face...I had no choice but to run ahead..TRUST ME. :)

So I did.  I have never run so fast before.  My heart rate got up to 198.  I was almost at the end and I looked and realised I could smash my goal.  I saw what I thought was the end banner and I went nuts.  I was sprinting like I have never sprinted before.

My insane heart rate

I got closer - and when I got to the banner, I realised that was not the end banner.  There was another one!  It wasn't that far off - maybe only another 40m or so.  But my body had had it.  I don't know what it was - I think I had pushed my body to its absolute limit for a certain distance.  And when I had to suddenly continue on further, even just a little bit, I physically couldn't handle it.

The gorgeous Cathy and Sarah

I have never felt this before, but all of a sudden, I could feel this wave of lactic acid rise - from my legs, up up up up through my body.  I needed to throw up.  If I wasn't so damn close to the end of an event where I was trying to make a personal best, I would have stopped and thrown up - I could barely even run.  My body was shattered.  I had Corinne and friends on the right cheering my name, I had the actual finish banner and cameras directly in front of me, and I had a fairly clear left hand side - where I wanted to throw up.  What did I do?

I kept going.

And I got my PB :)  I didn't end up throwing up but far out I have never felt that 'lactic rise' before!  It was the weirdest feeling!

Tonight's the first night of The Biggest Loser 2013 series.  I am surprised at how overwhelming this is.  Last years series was one big inspiring motivation for me to kick off my own weight loss.  To sit here tonight, the following year, it feels really strange.  My life has done complete back and side flips since the last series.

There's a funny internet meme that I saw today (see picture).  It's true!  I used to sit and watch the show and gorge myself on food - and yep, cry into my ice cream over it.  I knew what they were going through, yes.  But I think the main reason I would cry into my ice cream was mainly because I wanted it so much for myself but I didn't know that it was possible.  As I sit down to watch the first episode of this years series, I've lost 40kg.  I follow 12WBT and do what Mish says to do, just like she tells them what to do on the show.  Last years winner (Margie) is now training me.  And instead of feeling completely alone in empathising with the contestants, I've now found a whole group of friends who 'get it' too.  And we're not just watching it, we're doing it, too.

I went to Coles earlier today and was feeling like I wanted to buy some crap to eat.  I think the biggest reason was habitual.  I was about to sit down and watch The Biggest Loser.  That's what I do when I watch The Biggest Loser.  I buy bad food then cry into my ice cream.

Well, actually, no.  Not anymore.  That was soooo 2012. ;)

I was in Coles - and I had basically made the decision that I could binge.  Bear with me for a second.  

Me!

I walked around aimlessly and instead of buying crap, something inside me had changed.  I walked down an aisle to hide my face because I started crying.  I pretended to be really interested in organic spaghetti so that no-one would see the crazy blonde chick crying in Coles.  Why was I upset?  I realised that I don't do that anymore!  I didn't want to buy that stuff!  I don't know what came over me but I left that store without the bucketloads of junk I considered buying.

I'm not there yet but it's overwhelming to think my life is so different to a year ago.

What's that quote again?

"A year from now, you'll be so glad you started today...."

Leaving you with some words that the beautiful Corinne said to me today...this is what I have been learning this past year and continue to do so, every day:

Dream big and work hard - nothing is out of reach with great support xx

At the start line :)

Kate McGee and Sarah McGee

 

Mooloolaba Twilight run - fantastic event

  

Fireworks after were special