Operation Cruise Ship

Hello! :)

I'm going on that cruise that cruise with my Dad this week! Which is, of course, fantastic. However........

If you haven't been on one before, the best way to describe it is food on tap. 24/7 smorgasbords, buffets, multi course for each of the many meals of the day, wondrous food as far as the eye can see...you get the picture. It can be a weight loss journey persons

worst nightmare...being on a ship, not able to get off, surrounded by this amazing food, PLUS no phone reception to call on reinforcement encouragement if you falter. HELP!

I know what the food's like and I know what I'm like and I'm going to be honest, I'm not even going to pretend to myself that I'm going to expect much of myself. I've done that before and then I feel guilty so I not only don't enjoy myself, I go even further off the rails. I'm learning to accept and manage my ways and do my best, rather than fight my ways like I have for so long. It's been a big turning point and I've found this seems to work better for me. More accepting and working with myself and less fighting...

Instead, what I'm planning on doing is Operation Minimise Damage. If I can at least have my exercise sorted, that will be something. The ship has a running track, a gym and a sports court...so I'm going to scope it all out and plan on using them. I'm not too good with exercising while away from home. I always have grandiose plans and 'ooh aah' over the pictures of gyms in hotels and the pretty surrounding streets to run, and when I get there the closest I get is stumbling past said gym carrying my heels after too many wines, with my running shoes just taking up space in my suitcase. 

However this time I've promised my trainers and my boot camp mates that I will burn a minimum of 500 calories each full day I'm onboard the ship. I'm accountable to them, and to you now, so I'll be making myself do it! I'll make sure I take photographic evidence....and the pics should be pretty cool, with the Pacific Ocean as my back drop! My internet time on the ship will be miniscule, if anything, so I may need to post the evidence when I get off, but I will be doing it! Wish me luck! :)

Week 1: done!

Hi!

So I think that I need to write smaller posts, more often, rather than having everything build up so that when I post, I have a million things to tell you and I don't know where to start!
 

Princess Kate today

Like now.

I'm not even going to pretend to myself that this post is going to be refined and in some kind of order.  When is it ever? :) (Also, I will be decorating with out of order photos...meaning that the photos will make sense once you've read through the whole post!)

So today is the end of Week 1 of my 9th round!  It's been interesting...

I might quickly start though with a quick update from where I left off on my last main post.  That whole week (leading up to Week 1), to be honest, was pretty crappy.  If I had left hospital with some sort of answer of whether I have new clots - even if it was a semi kindly "we truly don't know", I would have felt better.  Good news would have made me feel relieved, on top of the world,

Team Brisbane at the Mother's Day Classic

like I could tackle anything.  Bad news, well, I was ready for it and knew what I would have had to do.  Even an honest chat with me, that they just can't tell me either way, would have been something.  But instead I left after being belittled, physically talked over, as I lay in bed.  And I was totally confused.

I got into my GP on the Tuesday night.  I had my discharge letter, and was a little more relaxed, ready for him to set the record straight so I could work out my next steps.  I sat down, down to business and asked him the same question I asked the doctor and nurse in the hospital: "could I have clots elsewhere, and should I be concerned."

His verbatim answer?

"Could we (Earth) get hit be a meteor tonight?"

I was in shock.  Seriously, not now.  I don't need this now.  Just will someone please explain this to me??  I stared at him and after pausing out of shock, answered slowly and quietly: "No...."

He said: "well, we could!  And you could have clots!  Probably not, but you could!"

The rest of the conversation wasn't much better.  It got to the point I couldn't talk and ask him my other main question because I knew I was going to burst into tears.  I held it in until I was in the dog food aisle at Coles next door.  I don't even own a dog.  But I stared at those dog tins for ages, trying to calm down and shield my face from other shoppers.  I didn't understand

Cold nights calls for training gear UNDER my onesie to go to sleep

what was happening and I didn't understand why now 3 medical professionals couldn't just speak to me normally!

I booked into another doctor the following night.  By the time I sat down with her, I was a mess and apart from the dog food aisle tears, cried my heart out for the first time since this scare had began.  But fortunately, she was the best of the lot.  She explained things as well as she could, which was all I was after.  She didn't know if I had a clot; I knew that she couldn't tell me that.  That's cool.  I just wanted more information so I could understand my situation.  The issue of concern, was my history, my symptoms, and the positive blood test.  And my sky rocket anxiety.  

Long story but as a result, I had to pull out of traveling interstate that weekend (for a

I just adore this girl...Leah

weekend away that I had planned) and was pretty much ordered to rest.  There was an elevated risk if I flew, especially while I still had the symptoms.  Also it was to the point where I realised that my anxiety may have been causing the same symptoms that I was anxious about in the first place!  A bit of an awkward cycle!  So as per doctors orders, I needed to try and relax my body.  It's pretty upsetting when you have to cancel something as big as travel plans.  But potential serious health risks are even more upsetting...so I knew what had to come first.

It wasn't the best time.  But I did what I had to do.  I took a 3 day weekend and rested.  I played and explored with my 1 year old niece, I was a hand and foot model for a beauty school and got a free manicure and pedicure, (which was one of my recent weight rewards!) and I didn't exercise at all for the first two days.  I went out and about a fair bit but made sure they were quiet activities, and spent the rest of the time at home.  I even did most of pre-season for the May round.

By the time Tuesday rolled around, my symptoms had lessened.  This is going to be my life

12WBT water...run like you stole something :)

probably forevermore...having scares like this.  It's upsetting but I know that I'm lucky to be here to have scares.

I started this round off strong on Monday, everything was pretty perfectly marked off the list!  Spot on nutrition, I burnt 1500 calories (!), and I drank all my water and had all my sleep.

Then Tuesday.................I started getting sick.  AUGH.  (Just a cold).

I may be a regular at the Royal Brisbane Hospital but I'm blessed with a pretty kick ass immune system, and I can usually shake colds off as soon as they start.  I didn't

disappoint myself this week either :)  I stopped it in it's tracks by Thursday before it really hit me (one of my talents!) but my breathing was not good.  I went to boot camp on Wednesday night - it was weights but each time I did the limited cardio from the session, I struggled with my breathing.  The cold air wasn't helping, so I didn't exercise at all on Thursday or Friday.

By Friday/Saturday, I felt sluggish and I felt disappointed in myself.  I felt like it had been longer since I excercised because Tuesday is my usual rest day and Wednesday's boot camp was a short session for me thanks to me being late thanks to traffic and having to leave early to get to Marathon School.  So I felt like I hadn't done much since Monday and it started

I ran today for Julie

getting to me.  Thursday and Friday were genuine rest days from being sick, but Saturday (yesterday), well that was me starting to fall into a bit of a trap and I didn't exercise despite me being able to :(  And in turn, my food wasn't great.

I think I've been a bit disappointed in my not so perfect week, together with stressing a bit about my cruise, which is next week.  I'm looking forward to it SO

much!  Oh so much - don't get me wrong. 

But I'm worried about the food aspect.  A cruise = food on tap 24/7.  It's all you can eat, at least 8 meals a day....it's fantastic!  But not so great when you're trying to lose weight.  I'll speak about the food another day, but exercise wise, I've scoped out the ship's amenities and it has a running track, a gym and a sports court!  So I will be making myself be well acquainted with these areas.

Today though, Sunday, was pretty good.  I had the Mothers Day Classic on - I did the

8km run and also volunteered in the 12WBT marquee with a group of lovely girls.  I think it was just what I needed.

The run was my first event since the Twilight Half and I really needed a confidence boost after that.  And I got that today.  It was a good run and I did it alongside my beautiful friend Mel, who, before today had run 3km.  Today she ran the whole 8km!  She more than doubled her best distance and I'm so incredibly proud.  

It was just nice and laid back and went really quickly.  I didn't prepare too well though, and

At least I was colour coded!

ran in my long sleeved 12WBT shirt (silly girl!) and was so hot...I also found myself at the start line with this lovely blue head piece!  I forgot it was on my head from the 12WBT photo booth area!  Fortunately I was able to give it to Julie just in time, to take back for me!  But no, the run was actually really good.

But the marquee experience itself was the other thing that I needed.  The lovely girls I shared the morning with, Mel, Julie, Leah, Lannie and Rina who completely warm my heart; the most kind 12WBT staff, Julie and Fleur who just make me feel so positive about myself, and the members and friends and strangers who came and visited, all of them, working and laughing and taking selfies, and speaking about the program that has changed my life, was just so inspiring and motivating for me.  I did a lot of thinking today and I know that today was a stepping stone in a more positive direction for me next week and beyond.  

I didn't have a bad first week, it was actually pretty bloody good...my symptoms have pretty much gone away and I think I'm ok in that field...I got myself set up well for the round, I dropped a good amount of weight on weigh in day, I started my first round of Lean & Strong

This week was an eye opener...!

(and love it by the way!), I got heaps of star stickers on my sticker chart, I made mostly good choices, I listened to my body, I learnt about Secret Womens Business at Marathon School (eeek...now that was a scary lesson!), I did one of my planned events, I got reminded that I have some amazing people around me, and I got a medal!  A week where you get a medal can't be a bad week, now, can it? lol

This weeks star tally was:
-Nutrition: 4/7
-Training: 5/7 (if I'm sick and I take a rest day I can still get a sticker, it has to be genuine though.  Yes, two days weren't genuine) ;)
-Sleep: 2/7
-Water: 1/7
Hmm have to try better!

Oh also!  I started (well, for those who follow me on Instagram, restarted, my new

Operation Size 10 Red Dress

#operationyellowdress, called "Operation Size 10 Red Dress"!  I'm working to get into this dress...this is Week 1's photo.  See here for all of the details...or the link is at the top of the page. :)

I'll do my best in Week 2 and will try and check in here before I sail out to sea...I think I have a bit of goal reassessing / tightening to do.  Thanks to everyone who was part of my week, in any small way.

Love Coco.............the girl who's always figuring things out and always has so much to say xoxooo

#runselfie

Mel just did her first 8km!  Being hugged my Julie :)

PINK!

All my bits and pieces!

Check out that cal burn!

Last week I did my "Just for me" challenge!  I went for a walk...it may not sound like much but I don't do that anymore...I run everywhere...it was nice to take some time out on a Friday after work...I really loved it :)

This is the most beautiful present from my friend Mel today to say thanks when she didn't need to.  Butterfly card, wrapping paper and muffin wrappers, 12WBT recipe muffins along with calories, a butterfly balloon and butterfly's on the muffins...the most thoughtful gift ever <3

My commitment for the 12WBT May round!

I'm doing pre-season as the 12WBT May round starts tomorrow!  It's my 9th round...far out!  I'm up to the commitment task, so I wanted to put it on here!

I just wanted to say out loud that I commit to this round and my goals. Wholeheartedly. I have goals and there's only one way to make them a reality and that is to work hard. I don't want to get to the end of the round or my #operationhomerun goal date and be disappointed with where I'm at, because I didn't put the effort in. Instead I want to be proud of myself because I worked my butt off, put the hard work in and be happy with where I am. I commit to following my plans and doing what I know I need to do. I commit to working hard, and passionately chasing my goals. I will get there. I love this journey so much and will continue to share my ups and downs. Thank you so much for your support xoxoxooxx

 

Butterflies and nuclear medicine

Hi!!!!!

Gosh, where to start.  This is a bit of an eclectic post, a little bit of everything.  And apologies first up for the lengthy rant at the end.

So, #operationhomerun is going pretty well.  I did up my rewards chart as that is what was a

My new sticker chart

major part of how I kept on track for #operationbirthday.  To be honest, there could be a few more star stickers on there...the first week / week and a half I was pretty good overall.  This past week I have slackened off somewhat.  My weighs ins so far have been good: 3.1kg loss, and then a 1.5kg loss.  Unless I pull myself together in the next few days though, I am not going to be as lucky on the scales on Wednesday.

The reason (not excuse, reason), is I've been on holidays this past week and I'm a little out

Chart and jars are back

of routine.  I have been slack with food for a few days now and have not been training every day :(  I truly have to kick my own backside though as if I want the end goal, I simply have to do the work to make it happen!  

My holidays have been pretty good...I was so excited for them.  My Christmas holidays weren't everything I dreamed of, so my main aim was to make up for it this week.  I planned 10 days of doing exactly what I wanted to do: it was a really balanced mix of family Easter celebrations, going to the beach a few times, fish and chips by the water, girly DVD night, a few breaky's and lunches with friends, I went to

#iloveholidays

Cairns and Port Douglas for the day (I just went for lunch!  I had free flights so it was like I was getting away without getting away!), a couple of boot camps, a couple of Kokoda / bushwalk treks, getting heaps of appointments done that I always put off: car clean, a skin cancer check, a massage, eye test, hair cut, all those type of things.  A couple of birthdays, some down time at home and a bit of shopping.  I was sooo excited about these 10 days off and I really needed it.

When I was in Cairns on Wednesday, I GOT TO GO TO THE BUTTERFLY SANCTUARY!  This, as you may have read, was one of my goals for this round - a mini milestone.  "Coco

In Cathy & Sarah's gym

Butter" was derived from the words 'cocoon' and 'butterfly' so it was really meaningful.  I am scared of all animals except for butterflies :)  I was going to Cairns / Port Douglas to visit a friend I haven't seen in 4 years, not to see the butterflies - it was just coincidental that we managed to fit it in and she took me there!  Otherwise I was going to try to go to the Melbourne Zoo butterfly enclosure when I'm there later in the year. It was incredible and the absolute highlight of my day.  I saw real cocoons and caterpillars and so many butterflies; and they landed on me and it was just magical!

So the week has been great - I'm feeling re-energised for work and even though I didn't get too much done at home, I've loved the week.

There has been one bit of down part of it though, that I just need to talk about, to get off my

My butterfly dream coming true!

chest!

I don't talk too much about my personal life on my blog, and vice versa.  But this is to do with my health and it's not something I'd share for example on my personal Facebook - everyone I've ever known don't need to know my medical situation.  But it's easier to 'talk to' strangers and I need to debrief, so here goes. 

I've talked a few times about the Pulmonary Embolisms (PE's) / blood clots in my lung that I had in 2012.  I'm so passionate about people being aware of the risks and have only recently started being a little bit open about this, as well finally starting to
recover emotionally.  More on that another day...

I've mentioned the recovery every now and then, but the one thing I don't really talk about, is the anxiety that is associated post having PE's.

When you have PE's, or a DVT (blood clot in your leg), you have a physical recovery period.  Generally, with a DVT it is 3 months, and for a PE it's 6 months.  Mine was 7-8 months.  Some people even have it for a life time - they have medication and constant monitoring for life.

But what you're not usually prepared for, is the anxiety of recurring clots. It's actually a 'thing'. For over 2 years now, every twinge, every ache, every mild symptom that's similar to when I first got diagnosed, makes me turn into an internally skittish worrywart.  I rarely let on

Cathy's Easter boot camp

to people.  I'll be in a meeting at work, at breakfast with friends, lying in bed, driving, anything normal, and have a potential symptom, and the anxiety starts up.  No-one would know...my eyes might glaze over and I'll lose focus for a brief moment perhaps, but that's it.  I've never really told anyone what it's like.  

It's a new way of life.  No longer can I dismiss something so minor anymore.  To be completely frank, if I ignore something, I could die.  It's that simple.  It is unlikely that I'll get them again - mine were caused from being on the Pill, and they stopped me on that immediately - so the main risk factor is gone.  But, it could still happen.

I've had scares since, and I usually go and get it checked out.  I hate having to do this.  It's so hard to assess that fine line.  I don't want to run to the doctor/hospital with every slight niggle I have, forevermore.  But if I don't, the risk is too huge.  It is awful.  And that's how it's been for

Cathy's cooking prowess - fish tacos on Good Friday

2 years now.

I haven't had a scare for a while, but since Monday, I've had symptoms again.  It started with having a bit of pain in my right calf.  I went to a GP on Tuesday - the receptionists for both the GP and the resulting ultrasound, both squeezed me into booked out diaries and told me to come straight in when they heard what it was for.  It's so lovely that they do this - but at the same time it's a dark little cloud of reminder that it's also sort of the importance that you would never wish for...

No clots showed up on that leg which was awesome.  But the symptoms continued for the next 3 days.  The frustrating thing is that the symptoms themselves aren't terrible in the sense of immense pain or discomfort.  They're slight, just hovering in the background.  Because they're so slight, I feel over the top each time I get it checked out.

But it all came to a head finally and on Friday (ANZAC Day) I ended up in an ambulance,

#hospitalselfie

and back in emergency.

It's so procedural for me now...I always find someone I know or have some connection with. This time it was one of the ambos, he's the father of a girl who was in my brothers class at school.  There's always police apprehending or guarding someone in the halls of emergency.  I always hope for the beds that have good phone reception and then I always think it's sad that I know the mobile phone coverage layout of the emergency ward.  I always want to cuddle the radiographers and orderleys because they are, without exception, always so kind. 

Gown on, cannula in, blood out, chest X-ray taken, multiple ECG's done, blood pressure taken, it's like a checklist and on the outside, I'm always very calm and quiet.

The ECG's and chest X-ray were clear...relief, and they started talking about sending me home.  We just had to wait for the blood test to come back.  It's called a D-dimer.  I don't know the medical way to explain it but I know that it's the test that came back positive and

Sexy gown

signaled to them when I got diagnosed with clots, and it's the test they do each time I have a scare.

I started to plan going home, trying with difficulty to message the two friends who knew I was in there...(I had one of the bad phone reception beds).

The lovely intern who I had been dealing with came back, I assumed to tell me that it was of course negative and that I could go home.

"Hi, so unfortunately the test is positive."

I felt the blood immediately drain from my face, my entire body.  I knew exactly what this

Love this girl

 could mean.

They moved me to a ward as they rang through to organise a VQ scan for me.  I couldn't have picked a worse time to need it.  It was the night time, of a public holiday, leading into a weekend.  I thought that I'd have to stay in hospital till Monday when that department opened again, but they thought it important enough to call in the on call doctor and technician from their days off, to come in and warm up the machine

and test me.

It was now time to tell my family what was going on.  I don't like to worry them, and when this was like I think my 25th visit in 2 years, you tend to think they may be a little over receiving a text to tell them where I am.  But they each called me immediately and of those who were actually in Queensland at the time, offered to come in.  I said no, that I was ok, but one of my brothers and his girlfriend came in anyway :)  And my beautiful friend Courtney had already turned up to sit by my bed. <3

I got transferred from bed to wheelchair and wheeled up to the Nuclear Medicine department.  There's something that really scares me about that department.  It sounds so full on and it doesn't help being pushed into it, in a wheelchair.  I hate having to be in a wheelchair, I feel so helpless.

Part 1

I had the department to myself and the doctor and technician, dressed in shorts and a cap from being called in :) were just lovely.  I hate having this scan done.  There's 4 parts - firstly they get me to lie down and breathe in this radioactive gas.  They peg my nose to ensure I breathe in and out of the gas tank.  For someone who's slightly claustrophobic, this is not fun.  I managed to not panic and just got it done.  They then hover a little machine on top of my lungs to measure the gas reading inside me.  When there's enough gas inside me, I move to Part 2.  Part 2 is almost like an MRI but not as scary, but still, another machine that's not good for claustrophobia - I lie in it and it circles me and takes scans.  Part 3 they then inject me with the radioactive stuff and Part 4 is the MRI type machine again.

After it had finished, I sat in the wheelchair, shivering under blankets because of how cold it is in there, waiting for the doctor to read my scans.  And I realised something amazing.  I don't know when it had happened - somewhere in

Doesn't compare to Cathy's cooking :)

between that fateful day two years ago and trying to lie still in the machine this night, but I suddenly realised I was ready for whatever they told me.

Two years ago my life changed forever - it fell apart and I've only in the last month been able to start putting it back together.  I guess I always imagined that if it happened again, that I would deal with it the same way as I did back then - in any way I could.  That everything would fall apart and I would scrape through using any ounce of strength and resilience I had left.

But on Friday, for some reason I had this quote going around and around my mind for a couple of hours: 

"At any given moment you have the power to say: this is not how the story is going to end."

I dealt with it as best I could two years ago.  That's all we can ever do.  But this time, IF I had more clots, I decided I was now older and a lot more wiser and I could cope with it better if I had to.  I knew what I would be in for.  I started making mental preparations of what I would do, and even started visualising myself dealing with it all in my stride.  I even started practically planning how I'd fit in almost daily blood tests around boot camp before work and silently congratulated myself on keeping the sharps container I got given two years ago as there was now a point to not throwing it out.  I promised myself that if I had them, that this time, I would deal with it a lot better.

I was calm and collected and ready.

The doctor came to see me and told me that the test was all clear.

Wow.

Ok - I was not expecting that!  I was so ready for bad news!  I got wheeled back to my bed

Emily & I bushwalking earlier in the week

and told my family and Court that my lungs were clear, which meant no PE.  The VQ scan only tests lungs, so I wasn't necessarily out of the woods as I could have a clot elsewhere, but it was great news.

The ward doctor came to see me and told me I could go home.

I was thankful I didn't have a PE of course, and happy I could go home, but I was confused and asked the doctor to clarify something before I left. What I wanted to know was, is it dangerous if I have a clot elsewhere in my body? Meaning, the D-dimer was positive, I have a history and symptoms, but my lungs are clear, so should I be worried if they're elsewhere?

The doctor had the worst bedside manner. Before I got my question out, he talked over me, raising his voice condescendingly and immediately said he thought I was overreacting and did I need to talk to someone (counsellor). I was astounded. I said very calmly that I don't believe I'm overreacting, I said I have a history, I

Kokoda treking

have a week of symptoms and I had a positive test. I'm simply asking, before I go home, if it's dangerous if they're elsewhere?

He leant over me in the bed and got really close to my face and said that HE could have clots. My family and friends (he pointed) who were in the room could have clots. Anyone could, there comes a point where they have to stop testing. He said again that he could have clots but he doesn't have symptoms so he's not going to do unnecessary testing! All the while speaking down to me.

I said (still calm) that the thing is, I DO have symptoms. I said I wasn't even asking for more testing, I just wanted to clarify if I should be worried if they're somewhere else in my body.

Sarah and I at boot camp

The lungs are just one part of the body.

He said again that I was being very anxious and said he'd go and check my records and come back.

I was reeling. Apart from the fact that I felt humiliated in front of Court and my family, I was so angry. Of all the times to accuse me of being anxious. I've spent two years being internally anxious and barely telling anyone just how much, and this was probably the most calm I had been that entire time. I was calm in speech and had collected my thoughts, and

Second Kokoda for the week for Leisa's birthday / ANZAC Day

as I always am, had been so patient, hadn't cried or made a scene, not said a word or asked anything all day/night.  All I wanted was a little bit of medical info before I left, which is normal. 

I was so proud of myself at how I was dealing with this but ironically he just made me feel like I was a screaming drama queen. I was so calm and had just one question. At one point I had to say to him "this could be a matter of life or death so of course I am wanting to find out more" because he was making me out to be someone I wasn't.

He took so long to come back that a nurse came in and asked why I hadn't gone home and I said I was waiting for the doctor to answer a question. She said he was doing a shift change and wouldn't be back so what was the question? I explained, but she too was like him and put words in my mouth! She said "so basically you're telling me that you want a full guarantee that you don't have clots, you don't have Cancer, you don't have anything at all,

anywhere in your entire body and won't forevermore."

I was so shocked, I was saying nothing like that and where did Cancer come from?? I explained again that no, that's not what I was asking, I just wanted to know is it possible to have a clot elsewhere and if so, should I be concerned? She went on and said that I could die tomorrow of a heart attack! That any of us young people in the room could have Cancer! She brought up all these other conditions that were off topic. And not a great thing to tell someone who's lying in a hospital bed.  

It was so strange and upsetting. She eventually answered me but didn't really if that makes sense? She said that the D-dimer can apparently be positive from other causes eg. if I have any inflammation. That's all I was asking. I guess it has me a bit skittish because that's the test that was positive last time. I just wanted a bit of medical information and I left just feeling confused instead of relieved. All of the other medical professionals were amazing - doctors/nurses/paramedics/radiographers etc. Just a shame the last two were the ones I

Weight loss rewards!  3 magazines and a new nail polish!

really needed to help explain it to me.

I left the hospital and for the past two days have been just confused and feeling down and blah.  To be honest, superficially I've been more upset about the conversations at the end rather than the potential clots!  I am so thankful that I don't have clots in my lungs, and thanks to the Tuesday ultrasound, I don't have one in my right leg.  But the positive test and symptoms have me a little concerned that I have one elsewhere.  Clots can travel - so it's a bit scary.  I'm seeing my GP as early as I can get in to see him so I'll see if he can shed any light. I'm sure I'm fine and having clear lungs is awesome news but I still need to find out more.

Anyway! So that hasn't been very fun and I'm sad to say I've let my eating be affected by it

all. You do not want to know what I've been eating... :(

But, tomorrow is back to routine and it's a new day, and I'll pick myself up and get myself back on track. The rewards chart is active and it's gonna happen - I won't let a little set back affect that. I may not have had many stickers last week but I'll pull myself together and make sure that changes.

:)