My latest crazy adventure

When you send these kinds of texts to your friends the night before a new adventure, you know you're in for an interesting morning.  Or that you're a bit loopy.  Or both - they're the

Oh, it's just your usual Saturday morning, getting chook feed strapped to my stomach ;)

same thing really:

"OMG what are we doing?"

"Do you have some spare chook feed for me?"

"Yes!  I got some strong masking tape from Fiona!"

HA!  See what I mean?  Yes, my life is always a little wacky.

So we all know that almost weekly, I come

Em starting her walk interstate!

up with these crazy ideas.  And I don't plan anything or think it through very well.  'It'll just work out' - I tell myself.  Then the night before I kind of start wondering what I've gotten myself into.  Especially like when I was discussing chook feed in detail at 11pm last night.

So - this week's personal challenge was to do the Kokoda loop at Mt Coot-tha - the usual 5km loop with the crazy 1km steep incline that we always do, but with 40kg of weights strapped to

I felt like I was wearing a fat suit!

me!  The idea was modelled off The Biggest Loser - how they have to walk up a mountain carrying the weight that they have lost.  It's to remind them of how far they've come, and I guess to let the weight go....physically and metaphorically.  I wanted to do that!  And I have friends who are as crazy as me and also wanted to do that!

One of these friends who I met through 12WBT, Emily, wanted to do it but she lives in NSW.  Which is an awesome place to live!  But a little far away when I live in QLD.  757km in fact.  But, what's 757km between friends?  Em had the brilliant idea of doing it together, just not actually together.  We decided to do our own walk, up our own local mountain, at the same time, and call/SMS/message photos etc. through to keep each other company!  My equally as crazy friends, Courtney, Bron and Tracey, also were keen.  Court and Bron are the more sane ones of the group - they decided to write letters to themselves to let go of at the top of the mountain instead of tying themselves down with weights.

However, Tracey, Em and I, well we're the nutty ones.  Em and I have each lost 40kg and Tracey's lost a huge 50kg!  And we were each determined to carry that weight on us, up the hill!

And that's where the chatter about chook feed came in.  Tracey went and bought and bagged sand and chook feed late last night.  Whereas I personally didn't think things through and

Weighed down....and out!

decided to use hand weights.....

Last night I tried on a backpack with 27kg in it and toppled backwards.  Hmmm.  After some very smart advice from friends and trainers about how to do this, we remembered that when we were 40 and 50kg heavier, yes we carried it with us, but it was distributed all over.  And we were also reminded that our backs aren't meant to carry 40kg alone.  So I rethought it all.

We all met early this morning and got to work with our support crew, Bill and Bob, getting the weight distributed.  While Emily patiently waited in NSW, Tracey strapped her left over sand and chook feed to my stomach!  I then distributed some sand but mostly hand weights - in a back backpack, a front backpack, down my top, in the pockets of the shorts Tracey lent me, and in my jacket pockets.  Tracey also wore ankle weights!  It was crazy!

And then we started out.  

It.....was.....so.....hard.

We usually do Kokoda in about an hour.  I've run it before....  Once I did it 4x in a row.  I've done it in a moon boot.  I've done it and had breaky with Mish at the bottom of the mountain

So steep.  So hard.

(I'll never forget that day!) ;)  I've done it so many times.  But nothing prepared me for today.

It took us 3.5 hours.  I was supposed to be running a group fitness test this morning after the walk and had to message the RSVP's to explain I was in the middle of Mt Coo-tha strapped with weights and couldn't make it in time.  I grossly underestimated how long it would take!

Every step was an effort.  Court, Bron and the B boys helped us down every step and called

The girls taking some sand out of Trace!

out when there was uneven ground.  We couldn't see our feet!  We stopped so many times I couldn't even begin to count.  Tracey had the best idea of releasing sand and chook feed along the way - brilliant - she released how many kg's she had lost each round.

Me on the other hand of course didn't think this through and mostly had hand weights which I couldn't leave in the bush.  Soon after we started I also realised I can't count and had accidentally strapped 46kg to myself!  I took 4kg of sand bags off me but I still did the walk with 42kg!  Bron took 3kg off me towards the end.  If I did it again I would do it differently but it's done now and you've gotta live and learn.

It was emotional for us all for our own personal reasons.  Us girls all even colour coordinated and wore the same shirts!  And as much as we all chatted, called Em, laughed and sang loudly to Katy Perry and Little Mix, it was completely a very

The gorgeous Em at the top of her mountain!

personal experience.  I personally have well and truly left my 40kg on Mt Coot-tha and as much as I will return to Mt Coot-tha I will not be regaining that 40kg, ever.  I can't believe I used to walk around like that.  We had to stop so many times to have a break because of the weird weights on us, but we realised that we would have had to stop that many times if we were 140kg as well!  We would have struggled just as much.

And, well, we realised that we actually would never have attempted the walk in the first place at 140kg.  And that's what it's all about - that's why we did it.  

Because now we can.  Bye bye 40kg xx

Enjoy some of our photos:

I did it! :)

Tracey's handiwork

My chook feed belt....awww

The beautiful Bron

The phenomenal Tracey

Me...weighing 141kg again!

The amazing Courts

Bron keeping an eye on a 50kg heavier than usual Tracey

Court tipping out some of my sand

Court and Kate

Me!

I felt so heavy.  I was so heavy!

Girls selfie

Our support crew, the B boys - Bob, Bill, me, Tracey and Courts

 

Starting to offload the weights at the end

Struggling - with Bron helping push me

Those of us who let stuff go on that mountain

An amazing photo from Em

Em tipping stuff her kg's out along the way

Em's view

Court helping me redistribute weight along the way

The beautiful Em!

Unhappy campers :)

Me taking a break lol

 

The yellow pole!

What I carried for 5km and up Kokoda

The current me!  The real me!

Thanks for sharing this with us Em!  Across 2 states xx

What Kate Did Next

So!  Following on from my War and Peace length epilogue post that I wrote last night of where I have been at, here is Part 2!

Here is what I have been doing and what I have set up for myself to get me to my goal weight.

Yes - the main mission is Operation Goal Weight - totally!  But...19th March 2014 / 40kg-ish is a little big to think of at the moment, so I broke the goal down into 7 parts.  As soon as I wrote them down, I felt a rush.  One small goal at a time.  Now I was talking! :)

I have set goals for Week 12 of Round 3 and 4, the ends of my next 3 boot camp rounds, Christmas Day, my birthday, and the day I fly out to Sydney for finale.  I'm aiming for each one at a time so I don't get overwhelmed.  On a higher level, I'm actually mainly aiming for the first 3 at once - encompassing them into one main focus: Goal #3 is my finale goal.  After finale, the next major milestone goal will be Christmas Day and so on.  But first up, is finale.  Finale is such a huge motivator for me - I adore finale weekends and get so motivated and inspired by the previous and for the next round each time I go.  So I'm putting all of my effort into my first big goal: "Operation Finale."  I'm working towards a goal for the morning I fly out.  So if you see me hashtag "of" or "operationfinale" on Instagram, this is what I mean.  I've been documenting my journey on Instagram heaps.

Anyway - so yes.  With Operation No More Standstill decided upon, Operation Goal Weight in my sights and Operation Finale as my current main focus, I sat down and looked at the best way to kick my own ass.

Essentially, all I am doing is going back to basics.  We all know there's no magic potion or code word or secret pill that gets us what we want.  The only way is bloody hard work.  But there's no reason that hard work can't also be fun and enjoyable!  So....I got my 8 year old on and made a sticker goal chart!  I made one for my training right back at the start of this journey

My sticker chart!

and I loved it.  So I went to Big W and the $2 shop and went a little bit nuts with pink cardboard and stickers, and sat down a week or so ago and got all creative.

I am in love with my sticker star chart!  I just listed the basic things I have to do.  I have these Daily goals:

• Nutrition
• Training
• Water
• Sleep

I call them my 'magic 4'.  If I achieve my nutrition/training/water/sleep goal for the day, I get a star sticker.  I also have Weekly goals - just a few general things that are important for me.  If I get a whole weeks worth of stars for one thing, I get a "Good

Stickers motivate me!

work!" or "A+" type sticker.  Ha!  I know how silly it sounds, don't you worry.  But don't knock it until you try it.  It's amazing.  I reason that if a few stickers are going to help get me back on track then they are worth the $2 it cost to bought them, and the embarrassment it costs to publicly admit that I have a sticker chart on the back of my bedroom door ;)

I have gone back to planning and prepping my meals for the week ahead.  The pencil cases

Monday's food all ready

have made a reappearance!  I can not tell you what a difference this is making.  Last week was a bit hit and miss, but this week I was determined to get it all prepared.  I spent 4 hours in the kitchen on Sunday night - cooking, dividing food into little bags and putting things into each daily pencil case.  I'm not going to lie, it wasn't fun.  I was interstate for the weekend for a family birthday and my only 4 hours I had at home were spent in the kitchen - no other housework was touched and I was a bit stressed.

But I can't tell you how much I have since appreciated the work I put in.  5 times a day, actually!  Each meal time I thank Sunday Kate for putting in the effort.  My food is all ready to go.  And it's not 'ready to go' takeaway stuff either.  It's nutritious and within my calorie limit.  It's just doing what Mish has always said.  I just don't consistently do this which is why it's big enough for me to mention :)  And I'm gonna keep on with it!  Tomorrow I'll be working out my meal plan for next

Cupcake Quiche cookup!

week and then preparing that food on the weekend.  I'm focusing really strongly on planning meals that I love.  I've spoken about this before, you've gotta choose food you love, otherwise you're never going to stick to it.  So this week I sat down and customised my meal plan to only include my favourite meals.  $ is always an issue so I tried to limit it to 3 different breakfasts, 3 lunches and 3 dinners.  It's cheaper to make bulk of one thing.  So I chose my top 3 favourite breakfasts etc.  It's making the world of difference.  I'm excited about my food each day and I know that I'm limiting any possibility of being tempted to deviate to bad stuff.  While prepping I've also done a small cook up and made extra meals to freeze as back ups.


One big thing is I'm aiming to get at least 7 hours sleep a night.  So far I think I have been awarded just 2 sleep stickers out of a possible 7, but I'm getting there.  It's a big change for me as I usually have 4-5.  On good nights I have 6 and on bad nights I have 3.  So 7 is pretty

A day's worth of food.  So colourful!

ambitious!  But I know how important sleep is for weight loss so I'm trying really hard.

Apart from the usual training and water essentials, that's really all I'm doing.  I hope last nights post didn't make it sound like I had a long list of amazing new ideas to help me get to goal.  Because really, all I am doing is going back to basics.  I figure if I can get the 'magic 4' and my Weekly stuff downpat, then I will succeed.  The sticker chart is just a visual way to keep me on track, and to motivate me to do each thing each day.  

As I mentioned I went up and down and found myself back up at 111kg.  I got back into it and faltered and last Wednesday got my sticker chart happening and was 109kg.  Today I was 105.7kg.  Those few simple things that I've focused on this week have paid off.  To quote Mish, this is not rocket science.  I think it's a matter of knowing what you want, knowing how to get it, then just doing it.  And that's all I'm doing.  I'm talking about it heaps and

This weeks weigh in

am surrounding myself with people and things that will help me.  I have countdown apps on my iPhone, extra stuff on my inspiration wall: anything extra that will help me - it all counts.

I feel so determined and as a result am completely focused.  I don't doubt that I will probably stuff up at some point.  I absolutely will.  But I am a pretty determined and stubborn person and if I want my goal weight, I will get it.  I've been standing still for too long and I'm over that.  Like my goals that I chatted about in the last post - I may not be getting there mega quickly or by a perfect date like my birthday, but the important thing is that I will get there.  But I'm not going to get there without bloody hard work.  If you want something bad enough then you have to make it happen.  I want my goal weight so I am simply making it happen.

:)

Why the letter R and the 19th March are so important

Hallo!

So this is a post about where I have been lately and where I am going.  When I say 'lately', there is no definitive time frame, but essentially I kind of mean the whole of this year.  I've been pretty open with the fact that I have lost 'around 40kg' and have made no secrets in that I haven't shifted much past that weight.  I've explained how I've put on a few kg's here and lost them, then a few kg's there and lost them.  I guess this post is to give you a little more insight into this.  To tell you about just how much I've been at a stand still.  About how I stopped myself from going too far backwards.  And about how I am planning to fix this whole thing for good.

So I explained a few posts ago how I had been in a bit of a state of weight limbo - always 'around 40kgs down' - and was going to go back to being more accountable.  I set myself up so well for this round - was going great guns!......until my car accident a few days into Week 1.  I let myself unravel....and unravel....I actually stopped posting my weigh ins and Yellow Dress photos for a few weeks.  Not because I didn't want to share, but because I was going so far backwards that sharing was having the opposite effect.  Sharing became an upset and embarrassment for me at a time when I needed time and space to get my head together.  Not only was me sharing unmotivating for those reading it, it was unmotivating for myself.

If you're a regular reader you'll know this isn't the first time I've had this caper.  I've done the 'stuff up and reset' thing more times than I care to think about.  But, in true 'Kate Time', I've finally processed what was going on and am back to having a clear focus of what I want.  And this time, in a big way.  I knew I wanted to get back into the game properly and stop this half assed shit.  Which is quite lucky because I had been unravelling so much that I was out of control.  On the day I kicked my own ass, I checked and saw that I had made it back up to 111kg.  That number horrified me and it confirmed for me that enough was enough.  I appreciate getting back up to 111kg though - because all my life I would have let that continue to rise and I would have gone right back up to where I started.  However seeing 111kg and wanting to take action confirmed for me what I already knew - that this time is forever and I will not let myself go back. 

Seeing the 111kg coincided with me realising that I was over not being at goal weight.  I was over not being consistently on my way to goal weight.  I was over having to make the same resolution every New Year, that *this* year I would get to my goal weight.  JFDI was at the top of my mind.  There's only so many months I can be at a stand still for before it starts becoming an issue.  I just want to get there!  The stand still is officially over.

Those who know me know that my middle name is 'Goal' :)  so my first step was to go about making my new goals to start getting me back on track.  Some people may not see the importance of having an end number or date in mind.  That's fine.  I personally though thrive on dates and numbers.  Without goals, I falter as I have no aim.  I need goals like I need air.  I am extremely flexible and change my goals all the time - things don't need to stay set in stone.  But I need to have them there to start with, otherwise I don't know where I'm going.

But this time my goal setting was different.  It took me a couple of weeks to settle on them.  And here's why.

I worked out that my birthday falls on the exact same day as the Week 12 weigh in for Round 4.  What a perfect date to aim to be my goal weight by!  End of the round and my birthday?  The numbers/details part of my brain started doing flip flops in prospective excitement of having such a perfect and well rounded date.

Until I realised how much I would have to lose in how much time to make that happen.

It wasn't realistic.

But it was such a perfect date!

But it wasn't realistic.

This sounds quite heavy but in doing this particular goal setting, I was also trying to cure myself of the eating disorders I've had since I was 16.  Most of that stuff is in the past, but I

realised finally that there was one thing I was still very much doing wrong.

I was making S.M.A.T. goals.

No, I didn't spell that wrong.  I meant to write, S.M.A.T.  Using the popular S.M.A.R.T. goals analogy, my goals were always Specific, Measurable, Attainable & Timely.  Totally.  I had the S.M.A.T. part downpat, baby!  What I definitely didn't have downpat, however, was the magic letter 'R': Realistic.  When it comes to weight loss, the 'R' is kind of an important one.  My 'dream big' life mantra is wonderful but with weight loss I need to remember to 'dream big realistically'.  Otherwise it just aint gonna happen.

So I realised that this perfect end of round / birthday date that I could aim for wasn't realistic.  The last 16 years worth of Kate wouldn't have cared about this tiny yet essentially important piece of detail.  She would have made that the goal anyway.


I finally realised what I was doing to myself.  I live by this analogy:

"Aim for the moon, if you don't get there, you'll fall amongst the stars."

What I was doing with weight loss goals though was aiming for bloody Jupiter or Saturn - setting ridiculous plans in place to make that happen, then failing miserably.  

So, for the first time ever, I allowed myself to dabble with the option of making a realistic goal date to reach my goal weight.  I almost lost the plot by trying to be realistic :P  - it was hard!  I sat down and number crunched for a few days.  I let myself just imagine being normal and dare I say it 'realistic'.  Augh! ;)  But as much as aiming for Jupiter doesn't help me, nor does aiming for the top of a tree.  I need to have some challenge or slightly out of reach component to help me.  The moment I considered an extremely safe and realistic goal, I felt like reaching for chocolate because there was no urgency whatsoever.

I confided in a couple of friends and deliberated for days.  I worked out a possible goal date that lay somewhere between Jupiter and the top of a tree.  19th March 2014.  It wasn't going to be easy and I would have to work hard to make it, but it was within reach.  It was realistic.  And it was a personal compromise - it was attainable yet had the slight edge of a challenge to make me excited.  Yet all I could think about was that there's nothing remarkable about 19/3/14.  Ummm....it's a couple of days after my brothers birthday?  And...that's about it.  

But I knew that it didn't matter.  What was special about this date was that it was realistic.  Now that was really special.

I knew what I had to do.  But it was hard for me to actually make the decision.  I realised that by choosing a middle ground date, I was saying goodbye to years and years of self sabotaging and a large part of my eating disorders.

I made the decision.

My new goal date is 19/3/14.  The 19th of March has gone from a non special date to a very meaningful date.  I may change the date over time but just choosing this unspecial date right now marks the end of some of my struggles.  Funnily enough it worked out to be exactly 6 months away at the time.  So I gave myself 6 months to get to goal.  I don't need to do it by my birthday in January.  If I aim for January then I will likely fail and stuff around like I have done for the most part of this year.  If I aim for March then by my birthday I will be at an awesome weight anyway!  Even if it isn't the end goal.  I also realised that I love the journey just as much as I believe I'll love the end goal - so who cares if it goes for a bit longer?  I'm enjoying it!

So I've spent the last couple of weeks getting myself back on track and putting things in place to make this now happen.  Operation Goal Weight has begun.  I haven't felt this focused or sure of myself in a long time - I have complete faith in myself right now.  I want to share with you my plans and goals and what I have set up.......but one of my new daily goals is to get at least 7 hours sleep a night.  I'm trying really hard on this and I currently have to be up for boot camp in under 7 hours so I am going to sign off this post and will try and post again tomorrow with what I'm doing.  For now though, I wanted to explain where I have been.  And just know that I am excited.  And completely focused.  More tomorrow.  Sweet dreams xx