If you can run 1km, you can run 5km!

Hey there :) I'm writing this from the clouds...literally and metaphorically: I'm writing this on the plane as I fly to Perth for finale as well as actually still feeling like I'm in a cloud of elation (!) from my story from Sunday that I've been wanting to tell you about :)

Just a warning though, this is a long post. Skip through it if you prefer, otherwise I hope you enjoy my story. :)

I have a big list of goals...life goals, 2012 goals, 12WBT goals, some are written down and some aren't. One goal that fits into all of those categories was my goal to run 5km without stopping.

A quick background of my running history:
*Insert blank space here*
Hahaa I have practically never run before!  Unless Year 2 school sports day races count. Running is one of those things that has been a dream, something that fit people do, and that I? Well, I don't.

One of my goals for 2012 was to finally learn how to run. I did my first fitness test just as Round 2 started. I did it in the darkness of night, where no-one would be able to see me. I set my stopwatch to time myself for the time trial. I was able to run for 200 metres. That was it. My throat seized up and I couldn't continue. I had to stop and gasped for air while I continued walking the rest of the 1km.

Over Round 2 I kept training and I felt my fitness improve each week. In Week 4 or 8 (I can't remember which), I pushed and pushed during my fitness test and was able to run for 1km without stopping! I was so excited and this night declared myself as a runner :)

Fast forward to Week 12 - my major milestone for this round was to enter the Bridge to Brisbane. This is a 5 or 10km walk or run event. My deep seated wish was to run my first 5km in this event. But during Round 2 I realised that it wouldn't be possible. I had a lot more training to get done before I could run for 5km.

My wrist band

My retail therapy from last week ;)

I was extremely disappointed in myself but had to accept it. Instead, I decided that my Round 3 major milestone would be to run for 5km, and my Round 2 would be to simply enter and complete Bridge to Brisbane.

This was actually a big feat in itself for me- entering a big event like this. For anyone who has read my Brisbane to Gold Coast Coming 7000th story (link here), you'll know that my history with group events were a horrific mix of police escorts and tears. The only other event I've done was the Cool Night Classic, a 3 or 5km walk/run. I did the 3km walk a couple of years ago with work. I struggled to complete this and remember being out of breath and embarrassed crossing the finish line, barely breathing on a mere 3km walk while my work mates ran the 5km.

So I forgave myself for being nervous about the B2B! I actually didn't think about it much in the lead up. Ignorance? Fear? Maybe a bit of both. Finally, the day before, I realised I had to find my race number and start thinking about it.

I told some 12WBT friends about it. I decided that my goal was to just complete it, and if I could get the courage up, to try to run a part of it- I didn't even let myself consider that I would run 1km in it, as I have never run in public and the thought of this sent me into a spin. I decided if I could turn up and walk, I would have won. And if I could dare to run a part of the way, in public, then that would be my bonus. I used a combo & average of my 5km walking pace and my last 1km time trial and decided I would try to do it in under 50min.

Ok! So I had my goals. My 12WBT friends encouraged me and wished me luck. One of them, W, said something that stood out to me. She said "If you can do 1km, then you can do 2km." She said if I can improve on my 1km, even by 200m, then I would be a winner.

I wasn't sure I could run at all in public! But I remembered what she said. On race morning I was nervous, I had my new One Active gear that I splurged on last week, and I put that on as well as layering myself up to give me a bit of confidence not to "jiggle" if I decided that I could run. I wore a bra, 2 Mish crop tips, a T-shirt and my Mish jacket. I didn't care if I overheated, I was held in and that's what mattered! :)

I drove myself to the finish site and caught a shuttle bus to the start line. When I got there I had an hour or so before we started. I needed that time though as I didn't realise we needed safety pins to hold out race numbers to ourselves. Novice mistake! I thought the plastic strips on the numbers were sticky things to stick them to us. Turns out they were our timing chips. Whoops!

So I spent a while in Portside IGA with a few others in the same boat as me, finding out that they'd sold out of safety pins. IGA lent us a stapler and we stood at the cash registers for a while, stapling the numbers to our shirts :)  That didn't work so instead I bought some sewing pins and some girls I met pinned it to me. Random moments!

I was really nervous, I was by myself and seeing the start banner gave me flashbacks of the Brisbane - Gold Coast hooplah ;)

I was disappointed in myself that I was here and hadn't reached my original goals of being able to run it. Many times I considered pulling out, but this was my major milestone - enough said! I lined up with the rest of the 5km walkers. I had entered the slowest category (walking). I didn't want to annoy people by putting myself in a start level that I couldn't maintain.

As we entered the start banner I let myself run, to see how it felt. I wasn't jiggling and I was insignificant in the large crowd of people, so I felt ok to give it a try.

I was slow, I was just jogging, but I was ok. :) I reminded myself of what W had said, to see if I could beat my 1km distance, even by 200m. I decided to give it a go. I kept running and smiled when I saw the 1km banner. I grabbed my camera from where it was safely tucked in my bra (ok, 3 bras!) and took a photo. I ran past it and was still feeling ok.

W's voice came booming into my mind: "If you can do 1km, you can do 2km." I started to consider if I could do this. I imagined how excited I would be to not only double my 1km in one go, but also to tell her.

I had more in the tank so I kept going. I was passing people with every step I ran....so different to my past events! :)

I strained my neck to see the 2km banner, but I stayed patient and kept very focused. After a while, I saw it. I was going to make it! Imagine doubling my running distance in one day! I was SO excited that not only did I take a photo of the 2km banner, I FILMED myself crossing this line :)

But I kept going. W's voice was back (dammit W how did you do that??) :) and suddenly I was saying to myself "if I can do 2km, I can do 3km." I started to believe it. Why not? W was right, I could do 2km without realising it, why not 3km? I had my doubts, but I thought wow if I can just get to 2.5km, how amazing would that be. But I was feeling ok and kept going. I thought of nothing around me, I had my headphones in and just kept running. I was so proud of myself. :)

Around this time something happened. Do you know what happened? I'll tell you what happened, a hill happened! A big hill! Where did that come from? No-one told me about this! This almost threw a spanner in my works.

Come on, give me a break, I was managing to actually run on the flat, but a hill was just cruel!

But I tried. I took it easy, I took it very slow and I just kept at it. My breathing started to get out of whack though. I was struggling to breathe and get air, and I was starting to panic and was scared of hyperventilating. I was struggling so much that in my panic state, I considered stopping and calling for help from one of the ambo's I'd seen along the run.

It sounds dramatic but I was really panicked. But I didn't want to stop what I was doing! I was doing so well! I pushed through the panic and the pain and I focused intricately on my breathing. I tried to take long, deep breaths, and kept going. It was hard and I'm proud that I got through that. I reached 3km and was already saying something to myself (can you guess?) "if I can do 3km, I can do 4km." :) (W was going to be so proud!)

I was taking it slow and I was able to keep running...I had no idea how. Around this time I finally started to let myself dare to dream something else...I barely let myself consider it..."what if I could do my 5km goal today?" I squashed the thought each time I pondered it.

I couldn't do 5km! 5km was my end of Round 3 major milestone. I was only able to run 1km before today (well I thought I could only do 1km!) As if I could reach 5km!

But then I spotted a red banner...it was the 4km mark. It said that we only had 1km left. I knew then that I could do it. I KNEW that I could run 1km- I had an understanding of the distance. And besides that, I was so close that there was no way I was not going to let myself smash this today. I had come so far (4km in fact) and I knew I could do this.

Focus, pace, breathing, focus, pace, breathing. It was only here that I let myself pick up a cup of water that they were handing out. I had skipped the first couple of water stops so that I wouldn't interrupt my pace.

I grabbed some water here though, partially because I'd always seen people on TV doing it in big runs haha! I didn't walk once though. I grabbed and drank on the run.

As we entered the RNA Showgrounds, I knew I was almost at the finish banner. I was still so focused and kept going. I didn't realise that there was a bit of a 'lap of victory' thing before we reached the end banner. Heaps of people were watching but I kept going. AND I RAN THROUGH THAT FINISH BANNER. There was no police loudspeaker, I wasn't last, and I had run the entire race.

As soon as I stopped running, my body released. I was in pain immediately, it was like I had kept my body so focused for the entire 5km that when I stopped, I let myself relax, and it hurt. I thought I might faint at one point, and I got really emotional too. I was walking through the crowds in a daze, teary and sore, but I was grinning from ear to ear.

I had just smashed both my Round 2 and Round 3 major milestones at once, I didn't think I could do this this day! And I ran in public! I had blown my own expectations way out of the water. :)

I had some breakfast and texted/Facebooked my family and 12WBT friends. I wanted to stay and listen to Vanessa Amarosi who had just started singing onstage but I had to rush off for a busy day starting with Fathers Day lunch, so I started leaving the showgrounds, still walking on air :)

As I walked out, I heard a few beats of Vanessa's next song. Hang on- I couldn't leave now. She was starting to sing "Shine". Ahhhh. It's such an iconic song and I've played it to many times over the years to inspire and celebrate myself.

I walked back and stood under a tree by myself. It was like something from a movie for me. It was like my life was a musical for 5min. As Vanessa sang, I saw the most amazing woman on the running track. She had crutches and a wheelchair type thing and she obviously struggled to walk usually. And here she was, doing the B2B, one very slow step and crutch move at a time. 

Well this just did it for me, I burst into tears :) Me being overwhelmed already and now watching this amazing, gorgeous woman beat her own battles, while the crowd, who didn't know her, cheered her on. All while Vanessa sang Shine as the backing track :) My heart! Hahaa, yes there are tears right now :)

I'm glad I gave myself this moment- it made me realise how many people we're smashing their own goals today, all at very different levels, but all achieving something amazing. There was the winners of the 5 and 10km events that I saw onstage, how amazing are they...there was one my 12WBT friends who beat her PB in the 10km by something like 20 or 30min! There was me, who had just run 5km for the first time ever, and there was the courageous lady with the crutches. And so many people in between. Each person just putting one step in front of the other, 1 metre, 1km at a time.

It was the most amazing day for me and I am still so excited about it. I only started the 12WBT Learn to Run program last week! I had no idea that was in me. It's amazing what your body can do when you believe in yourself, and when you dare to dream and push past your self imposed limitations.

I now have to think up a new major milestone for Round 3! How cool is that :) The only thing I can put this down to is my increased fitness. Just 13 weeks ago I struggled with 200m. I've been working on my fitness, losing weight and getting healthier. And that's all I seemed to have needed. Oh, and the mindset. :)

It just goes to show that if you can dare to dream, that you can do anything. And if you can do 1km, you can not only do 2km, but you can do 5km. You can do anything you dare to, or not dare to, dream. 
Oh, and my finish time was 48:47 and I finished somewhere in the middle. :)  Dare to dream.......

Start banner

1km ran in public!

First glimpse of the 2km banner

Loved this :)

If you can do 3km...

This is where I made my decision

This was cool

The best view of a finish banner I've ever had

Cinderella and her dress....to finale

So....I am off to finale tomorrow!  Well I'm off to Perth tomorrow, finale is on Saturday.  I am actually really nervous.  I'm really excited!  But quite anxious.

But apart from all that, we have the bigger issue at hand.......THE. DRESS.

I left it to the last minute to find something.  I sometimes live in this dream land where "if I ignore it, it'll all turn out ok in the end."  It rarely does, of course!  Ignoring things won't make them go away!  But endlessly, it seems, I try this anyway.

I tried on my dresses I own last night.  None fitted.  Of the dresses which would be suitable, 3 didn't do up, 1 fell off me and 1 *may* or *may not* do up depending on how strong someone is to do the zipper up if I ask them nicely to try on Saturday.  Not a great result. :(  The dresses ended up in a pile on my bed (see picture) which have now turned into a pile on my floor.

I was so disappointed.  I didn't have time to go shopping before I leave (I do now) for a new dress but also I really can't afford to buy something new.  My $ situation is not in a good state right now.  

Even still, I am going to go and have a look tomorrow morning and see if I can find something.  Also, a 12WBT friend offered to lend me a dress which she is sending to Perth via another 12WBT friend (as she's not going to finale) and this is just the sweetest thing and I feel very fortunate to know such generous people.

So I'll be ok, I'll be dressed on the night at least.  I can bring Dress #4 and get safety pinned into it, Dress #5 and breathe in and cross my fingers, hope I can find something shopping, or wear my friends dress if it fits.  So I have options.  I'll be ok.

But this whole thing has been weighing on my mind and I worked very quickly out why.  It's because, even though I've been going through so many changes myself, my clothes haven't caught up.  That doesn't make sense....

I don't want to buy many (any) new clothes (apart from work-out clothes) until I lose most of my weight.  And even though I have a big range of sizes in my cupboard (Size 8-26), nothing much fits at the moment.

But what the issue is mainly, is that it's just a stark reminder of how this has always been and why I'm doing this.  It's brought back all of the memories of crying in change rooms, of gritting my teeth as people look me up and down in dress shops, of spending 5 hours in 17 shops to find something to wear out, and not finding anything...even my high school formal dress wasn't what I wanted.  The only reason I wore that one was that it was the ONLY dress that fit.......

Cutting to the chase, the ultimate reason I'm doing 12WBT is to lose weight.  The reason I'm going to Perth and finale is to celebrate my first 12 weeks and to meet and hang out with some amazing people I have met along the way.  And, as always, to get inspired.  It just seems ironic that something to do with me celebrating losing weight and being on this journey, is reminding me  so starkly of why I am doing it.  Does that make sense?

I have changed so much because of 12WBT, all fantastic changes - and I am happy being where I am on this journey - there is no quick fix and I am comforted that I am on my way.

But I guess the clothes thing is such a big thing for me, and it's just frustrating that I'm not 'there yet'.  The clothes 'thing' gets to me every morning when I get dressed, don't get me wrong.  But I have 'safe uniforms' AKA clothes that fit me, I feel comfortable in and are as daggy as hell - and I get happy when these clothes start to get baggy and fall off.  These clothes are ok for work, for training, for seeing friends.  But a dress for a big event - I'm not small enough yet to find / buy / wear what I want to wear yet.

And as much as I can pretend that it doesn't bother me, it does.  I want to feel excited about dressing up like I have in the past.  I want to discuss accessories with friends and go shopping for the perfect matching clutch for the night.  One that I'll add to my massive 'one off wear' collection, but that's ok because I bought it for that one night and it matched my awesome dress. :)

I've just realised I guess that I am not going to be able to do that this weekend.  I'll go and have a great time, and I'm sure I won't care what I'm wearing as soon as I get there.  But this weekend won't be one where I can be excited about dressing up.  I'm getting my hair and makeup done, I'll get photos, I'll have a ball.  But whatever I wear on the night will just be another reminder of why I'm on this journey.  It's just one of the many things I listed here on this post: Written by a fat girls heart  And that's ok.  Reminders are good.

Cinderella will have something this weekend, but one day she'll be able to wear her ball gown that she is working so desperately for. :)

Checking in and my strange new attachment

Hello!  We're into Week 2 already!  Time is just flying!  And, as always, I have so much to say.  Quick sum up of my last few days - things have been fairly on track.  But one thing I have to focus on is my organisation.  This is lacking and I have to revisit this pre-season task pronto (as in tonight) to help me out.  It is vital to my success :)

3 HRM's and none are working!

Training is going ok but not great. I know this sounds like an excuse but I am really struggling without having a HRM.  It is affecting me so much.  My beloved Polar has been broken / not working properly since Round 2 Week 12 and I still haven't been able to get it fixed - I can't find my proof of purchase so I can't send it away until I do.  I started getting so frustrated without it that I went to 2 different Aldi stores to buy a replacement HRM in the meantime.  They were selling them for $20 and I decided that $20 was worth the sanity until I can get my Polar fixed.

Both stores had sold out and I am still sans HRM.  I even have an old one that I have tried and it also isn't working.  And I tried the HRM connected to my treadmill - that doesn't even seem to be configured right - but obviously would only work on my treadmill anyway.

I've been training but (and I know this sounds dumb) I feel like I'm not compelled enough to train as hard if I can't measure it!  I know!  That is dumb!  I'm such a numbers person.  I didn't think I'd ever be so attached to my HRM!  I am struggling without mine.  I don't want to pay much more than $20 for a back-up one but I may have to.  I'm going to Perth finale in 2 days and I want to have one there.  Will see what I can organise tomorrow.  And in the meantime I need to find my proof of purchase so that I can get my Polar fixed!

A little reminder :)

Apart from that things are good - although I just got out of hospital (again) :(  I'm fine, it was just precautionary to do with stupid symptoms that keep recurring.  I (and when I got there the doctors) thought that I could have more blood clots.  This was only based on my symptoms.  Long story but they kept me in overnight and ran heaps of tests.  I was ok and not panicked this time...I was worried and upset but strangely calm.  My main immediate concern was if I had more, would I be allowed to fly to Perth?  The great news is that I have no clots :)  Not in my lungs or in my legs :)  I'm so relieved and I feel like I have a new lease on life again.

Anyway I am really tired, I think I slept for 3 hours at 1 hour intervals this morning, I kept getting woken up and prodded.  I fell asleep on the phone to a friend this afternoon (literally - the phone kept going silent on my end as I fell asleep) ;) so I have gotten home and had a shower, and I'm going to have an early night tonight.

Back to my job I hate tomorrow...I can't wait to get out of there.  It's toxic on my health.  I actually opened up to my new boss yesterday about my current health 'issue'.  I've only been there for 6 weeks and already have taken some time off because of hospital and doctors (1.5 days in total).  I thought I'd explain it so that she didn't think I was making it up or just being unreliable.  I broke down in front of her (doh!  I try to never cry at work (in public)) :( but I was so worried, I had shortness of breath and just wanted to go to the doctor.  I was trying to hold out until after work and she said to go early if I needed to, health is more important.  Excellent - however she then proceeded to ask me to finish some things before I left, and then texted me in hospital to ask me to do something.  One day I'll have a compassionate boss!

Anyway so back to the hell-hole tomorrow but it's just for 1 day and then I am off to Perth....my first time to Perth, a few very much needed days off work and I am excited I have SUCH a special weekend planned with some amazing people.

I came on here to write a post about my finale dress and haven't even mentioned that yet!  So I'll save that for another post - I also have an exciting story for you as well.  So much still to write!

Will sign off now as I need to go to bed but I'll write more tomorrow.

Lotsa love,
Love Coco xx

Bloggers Challenge #1: Week 1

Hi!  I'm taking part in the 12WBT Round 3 Bloggers Challenge, set up by the amazing 77Noni!  I'll continue to write my usual posts, but in addition, each week there'll be a new Bloggers Challenge topic to write about.  It sounds like a heap of fun, and hey, I'm already addicted to blogging, so this just gives me another excuse to write :)

If you're interested in taking part, check out 77Noni's awesome blog:

http://fitandhappynotfatandhippy.com/2012/08/29/bloggers-challenge-week-1-its-never-too-late-to-be-what-you-might-have-been/

So, here we go for Bloggers Challenge Post #1!

1. Describe yourself in less than fifty words. What is it you want us to know about you?

Blonde.  Lover of pink.  Wear my heart on my sleeve.  Have a mega cute new niece.  Adore 12WBT.  Actress.  Open.  Empathetic.  Sensitive.  Love poking bruises.  Huge heart.           

2. This program is called a transformation. When you signed up for this round (whether is your ninth round, first round or somewhere in between) what was it about yourself you wanted to transform?

At the start, it was just my body.  With no flowery words lightening this up, I was fat and needed to lose weight!  Simple as.  What I didn't realise though, was that Mish was this amazing mindset transformer too!  And I guess what I also didn't realise, is that that was what I needed. As soon as I was in pre-season, I realised how much I had to transform in my mind before I could consider my body transformation being for life.

3. One of the phrases Michelle Bridges says that has struck a chord with me is that we should be striving to be the best version of ourselves. To me that means we don’t have to change ourselves completely in order to have a successful transformation. What is it about yourself you are happy with right now? It can be related to your mind, body or soul, and of course there may well be more than one thing you are happy with.

I'm simply happy that I have 31 years full of memories and experiences that have helped mould me who I am right now.  This gives me a foundation to have a transformation in the first place.  If I had a perfect rainbow glitter unicorn life then I wouldn't appreciate how amazing it feels to tranform myself.  And that's half of the fun of it, right there.  We all have experiences that have shaped us, both good and bad and everywhere in between.  We don't want to get rid of who we are/were.  No way!  We just want to get the best bits out of us and make them even more awesome than they already are.  

4. What aspect of this program do you think will present you with the toughest challenge. What are you going to focus on to ensure you feel successful at the end of the twelve weeks?

The toughest aspect is my mindset.  Training and nutrition and everything else?  Piece of cake carrot if you have your mindset right.  We are all capable of doing anything our hearts can imagine......If we believe in ourselves.  I struggle with this.  Well, I have in the past.  This is what I really need to work on.  I'm going to focus on strengthening my mind and resolve to go gung ho......For the 12 weeks?  Absolutely.  But mainly, for life.

5. What is it you look forward to the most in the next twelve weeks?

The entire 12WBT program - I love all aspects.  But mainly?  I look forward to smashing my goals and not letting anything stop me.

7. Can you describe what you want to see, think and feel when you look in the mirror on Sunday 18th November 2012.

I simply want to feel proud of myself.  I want to look in the mirror and know truthfully, on the inside, that I have worked my ass off over the 12 weeks.   Metaphorically....and literally ;)

You'll start happening too

WELCOME TO ROUND 3!  Today's the first day of Round 3 of 12WBT!

I have so much on my mind at the moment, I'm feeling overwhelmed....so what do I do?  I write on my blog.  No promises that this post won't be a mismatch of my thoughts, in a random order....I have no thought structure in my mind tonight so I doubt it will get into any such order in words :)

From a program point of view, I had a good day.  Calories in and out were good.  Just a few hiccups that have really been frustrating me.  I'm going to complain for a sec and then get over it.  I just have to get it out - nothing's that huge but I'm letting little things get to me, so bear with me :)

And I know you'll hike far

My Polar isn't working :(  I've known about this for a week too, since it fell off at boot camp - which just makes me frustrated at myself for not getting it fixed sooner.  I had a vague sense that the Polar fairies may have fixed it and it may have rectified itself.  No :(  It may just need a new battery, but it seems to be broken.  So I couldn't trust my calories burnt this morning when I did my 5km walk (along the river this time, no hospital visits!).  Then tonight I tried to use my old cheap HRM but it didn't work.  Then I even tried to use the one connected to my treadmill while I did Learn To Run.  I don't think those calories were right.  I was running, and it showed less calories than I burn while walking.  AUGH!!  I am so frustrated! 

My first whole pumpkin ;)

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm very numbers focussed.  I adore my Polar and live by it.  And now I have to be without a HRM for a few days while I send it away to get fixed.  I tried not to let it bother me but I did.  I had a crap day at work (it's a bit hard not to when you hate your job).  Then while I was running tonight, my shins really hurt and I don't know why and I couldn't run or even walk for as long as usual.  I am recovering from a very minor cold but I doubt that's it, I was fine with breathing etc.  Maybe my feet are just tired from walking today?  Who knows.  I started crying on the treadmill - I don't even know why.

Soup all made!

Anyway, I shouldn't worry because all of these things are fixable, I can estimate the calories burnt and the main thing is I was on track with calories and everything.  On a brighter note, I finally made pumpkin soup that didn't fail!  I've only tried it 2-3 times before and each time I have miserably stuffed up.  But I tried this week's recipe one and it worked!  Ooh yeah!

And now I have heaps of meals in the freezer for those last minute meals.  I also love that I had to buy a whole pumpkin to make these meals - I've never bought a whole pumpkin before!  I loved it :)  Another first, I bought artichokes for the first time....I didn't even know what they were so it was hard to find them!  Ahhh the small things hey? :)

View on my walk today

Starting Round 3 today made me think of how I felt when I started Round 2.  I was terrified for one!  I loved it.  I was overwhelmed.  I did everything.  I was excited.  Similar feelings today, except this time I'm not terrified :)  I watched a video before a couple of times, it's one that I posted here once (here's a link): Today is your day  I often watch this to cheer me up (watch it, you won't regret it!)  One of the phrases struck me tonight: 

And when things start to happen, don't worry.

Don't stew.

Just go right along.

You‟ll start happening too.

It's right you know.  Just go right along....just keep going....and you'll start happening too. :)

I realised that I haven't made my commitment yet.  I've been working on it, but I haven't put it out there yet.  So that will be my next step.  I've also got to finalise my goals.  I think I'll feel a lot more on track when I do those things.  I've decided that I am moving forward and not looking back.  Enough chit chat and thinking, more JFDI and chasing those dreams until I can grab them.

I hope everyone doing Round 3 had a great first day.  I'm off to prop myself up.  I'm really excited about this round; I'm proud I didn't let little things stop me today, but I have to get a bit more cheery. :)  And I will.

Just go right along...............this round there will be no excuses.  Team, you're off to great places.

Oh, the places you'll go.

Love Coco xx

Coco Girl's round up of Round 2 :)

After a very reflective few days, I put together a list of things that I've learnt, achieved and become aware of over the past 12-14 weeks.  I'm putting this out there for myself.  I have learnt a lot on the inside; I feel I have freedom from myself (if that makes sense) and I know I now have the tools to keep at it.  So tomorrow I will put Round 2 to rest and make my commitment to Round 3 (and beyond), and simply look toward the future.

 

My first 12WBT round, Round 2, 2012:

• The boring numbers: I've lost 15.4kg (12.9kg since Week 1) and lost 52.4cm.  My BMI reduced from 46 down to 41.  These numbers may not be as much as I 'wanted' but the rest of the stuff I have gained far outweighs the numbers at this point.  But in saying that?  I am smaller than I was 14-ish weeks ago and I will own that. 

• I've trained like a demon at times and I know that I can train more.

• I became well acquainted with my HRM and calories as a whole - in and out.

• I've realised that I can push myself and push through pain.

• I'm a runner!  My first fitness test in Week 1, I felt like I would collapse after running for 200m.  Now I can run for 1km!  (And am building on that: 5km by the end of Round 3 baby!)

• I realised how important 'military precision' or simply being organised is to this journey and just to life in general.

• I realised that it is very easy to make a commitment / promise at the start of the round when you have a packet of Tim Tams next to you.  Actually carrying through with this commitment - that is the real test.  And I have done so :)

 

• I not only attempted my first boot camp, I now love them!

• I did many things that scared me and achieved all of my milestones (so far - one more to go next week!) :)

• I met the most amazing people - fellow 12WBT'ers.  The things I have shared with these new friends is so sacred.  They have been pillars of strength and inspiration.  They have answered my questions.  They have been honest with me.  They have been patient with me when maybe sometimes I took a while for things to click...I've always been a late bloomer :)  I have met up with many of them - new friends are awesome.  I've had some of them offer to meet me for dinner just to make me smile after a bad day, others offered to pick me up from or just sit with me in hospital, , others who send me messages of encouragement, others who have driven an hour to cheer me on in things outside of 12WBT, others just make me feel 'enough' :) --- these are girls I've either met once briefly, or never met!  12WBT'ers have the biggest hearts.  I have been inspired by their strength and courage.

• I had so many light bulb moments that it was like a fireworks display.  Things clicked in the last 12-14 weeks more than they have in 15 years.

• I now understand the importance of the word 'consistency'.

• I finally worked out where my previous weight issues have come from.

• I finally realised that I was an emotional over-eater.  I didn't realise this before!

• I have become comfortable with weighing myself once a week (instead of every day) and not panicking - because I trust the program and know that it will work. Weighing in is now just a tracking process that makes me smile rather than a daily mood setter.

• My pants have fallen off a few times! (Thankfully not in public) :)

• My fitness test results have improved every 4 weeks and I can feel that improved fitness when I train.

• I have had fun! 12WBT is really fun- there's so many aspects to focus on, keep me entertained and help me.

• I am learning to not self sabotage.

• I've learnt not to eat my emotions......and just feel feelings.....and roll with the punches.

• I am getting my sparkling eyes back :)

• And perhaps most importantly, I now believe in myself.  I can't wait for Round 3.  Thanks Mish and 12WBT :)